April 9, 2013

The Grass always looks Greener on the other Side

So, for all homeschooling families out there, what do you do when your child asks to go back to public school?

I tried not to take it personally, but one of my daughters has had a hard time not being in 'regular' school as she calls it. After talking to her about it, the main thing she misses is her friends and teacher. Explaining that first grade is not kindergarten didn't help. Explaining that there are two elementary schools here and many of he friends from kindergarten may not be at the same school with her didn't help. Listing all the cons about going to school and pros for homeschooling didn't help.

And then, when I tell her that this is what the Lord is having us do, and I'll have to pray about this, I get some tears from her. Oh, mama guilt!!

Such a heart wrenching thing- you want to make your children happy, but at the same time you are their protector and must do what is best for them. I did some online searching about putting homeschooled children into public school. In all of the articles I read, pretty much none of them recommended seeking God about it and then making the decision. Wow, even Christian blogs or forums missed it. They would mention lots of prayer going into the decision, but it left me feeling like you should pray about the decision you're already making.

God plopped homeschool on me when it was the furthest thing from my thoughts. I didn't want to look at it, read about it, didn't want it!!! But, I do want to obey God and walk closely with Him, and so you can't really avoid the things He's wanting you to do. I finally surrendered with the plan to listen closely to Him and do what He needed us to do. Even if that meant not homeschooling the rest of their education. So, I've been open to whatever He may want us to do.

But, right now, I don't want them to go back. Selfishly, it would be nice to not have the responsiblity of their schooling on me, and to be able to have more time to keep up the housework, do projects, shop with just one child etc. But overall, THEY are more important than any of that, the content of their education doesn't compare with what they would be getting in the public school. Believe me I know! Alexa, who is 9, spent three years in the system. She did well, but she would take reading tests on the computer and fail them sometimes. She is a great reader! She was just in a hurry she told me later; the things she brought home for science and social studies were very dumbed down. And this is a pretty good school, as in their test scores are high, they are very Christian and allow teachers to pray in the classroom and talk about Jesus to the students, they are very involved in the childrens' lives and welfare etc. BUT, the actual content of their learning is lacking big huge time, and my desire for them is to actually learn.

When I switched from this very same public school to my Christian school, I felt like a starving person that had finally found the feast! All the information and knowledge just nourished my mind and heart. It was hard for me at first- the straight A student now had to really think and reason through things! And, there was no multiple choice tests, no way, all essays or you had to write out long answers to the test questions. You had to KNOW the material forwards and backwards. So when you did get that A, it was truly an accomplishment.

I want them to have that from the beginning. But since we don't live really close to that school and previously had not had the money for it, that was out. So they are getting it from me. I've put Sarah, the 7 year old that wants to go back to school, into all kinds of activities to feed her need for socializing. Not to mention she has three sisters to play with. So, I am not sure what to do about this. I will just have to cast the care on Jesus, and let Him work it out. Then I can remain in peace and rest knowing He's got it. Thank you thank you Lord! You are so good.

No comments: