April 29, 2009

Busy as a Bee

Being away from home with not a lot to do can certainly renew one's desire to get her act together. It also helps to not have easy access to a computer :)

I don't know if I was just feeling the pregnancy more or just really had a lack of drive, but the last 5 months I have been dragging behind in my duties. I have done more in the past few days than I did for weeks prior to our trip away. I did some thinking on that loooooong trip, and decided that even if I don't really just love the house I live in, I need to make the best of it because it is a blessing. It's huge and soundly built and free.

The first thing is to get rid of the things bothering me- namely extra stuff. Seems like there's always stuff in every corner! So far I've gone through all the girls' clothes and some toys, cleared out our laundry room, and rounded up as much 'trash' as possible. The next thing is my closet, the kitchen, and really working on the toys. Saturday we are switching our living room to the front room again, while the playroom/office goes to the room with the fireplace. I am tired of the mess being the first thing you see when you walk in the door.

My husband agreed to help me make our bedroom nice. We haven't had a nice room since we got married! This will include painting, probably, as well as locating a larger dresser and hopefully a headboard. Plus we need bedding that actually fits and curtains. Also I want to brighten up the living room and kitchen, either by painting the paneling or just using bright colors. Then there is our baby's room to get together- can you believe I haven't bought anything or made anything for this baby yet? I don't even have the stuff I used with the other three anymore! I'm getting anxious about that...

Then there is the outside. It really needs some sprucing up with plants or something. It is last on the list though :) So, the last two days I did all the laundry (wow for me), totally deculttered and organized the laundry room, unpacked everything, cleaned out the girls' closet and have two bags for Goodwill and one for my neice, decluttered my bathroom and actually found my rug and toilet lid cover, cleaned the bathrooms, vacuumed, grocery shopped, created my new home management system that I'll talk about later, and stuck to my routines fairly well. The past two nights I haven't slept well, so today I put off any decluttering and declared a food prep day instead.

I had to run back to the store for some forgotten items, then I made some kefir, started a kombucha brew, started some crockpot yogurt and made part of dinner. I made lunch and have a huge bag of ripe bananas to work with that I got for $1! I may be able to wait a few days before I have to do something with them, which is good because I forgot to buy more flour! Next I need to finish the kombucha, finish dinner and possibly make another one for tomorrow, and my most hated task of ALL, clean the fridge out!!!!

Before you think I'm superwoman, let me tell you, my car is filthy from our trip. Our ice chest is still sitting in the kitchen full of water and floating water bottles. I have a pile of mail to sort through on my kitchen counter and my sewing room is littered with tons of thread and scraps of material all on the floor. Plus the girls' room is a mess. Oh yeah, the refrigerator has food in it from before our trip...fun.

But, if I don't get it today I'll do it Friday, because tomorrow is a fun day for us- visiting my mom and doing some shopping. I hope to get some sewing in this week too, but that would be a bonus :)

I guess after seeing how well managed my cousin's family was, with the 9 kids and her being pregnant, I figured I could handle my own a lot better than I was. She does get stressed out and really enjoyed being able to vent to me, but she has a great positive outlook on it all. I am certain we would help each other, but I guess we'll have to resort to snail mail...what's that??

Alright, time to get littles to naps and finish what I started.

April 28, 2009


This isn't what I wrote about yesterday that got deleted. I decided to wait until I could do pictures of it. Explanation: our laptop's power supply cord got broken and it has zero battery back up, so I have to use the dinosaur computer from 1998 until we get a new one. This one doesn't adapt to uploading pictures too well, plus it's harder for me to get to.

As I said earlier, I was kind of nervous about our trip, because of what it might mean. Back in the fall, my husband and I really felt a pull or direction from God to move up there. Yet, financially, we couldn't just up and move with him having a job. So, he began searching for something and we've been in a waiting period. During that time, a lot of changes have been made, making us wonder what we're supposed to do- go or stay? Months went on with nothing from Michigan, we had moved again, I was now pregnant, dh got a promotion at work etc. Everyone else had kind of forgotten about it as well.

So, we decide to make the trip since I said no way I am riding the car for two days 8 months pregnant this summer. My husband called one place up to let them know we were coming and they set up an interview. So anyways, I'm ancy all weekend. We meet all of Matt's relatives at a birthday party, we go to church with his parents and everyone is so excited to meet us. We have other friends and family wanting to visit us. This has never really happened before on other trips.
I had already looked at real estate and was blown away by how cheap it is up there! I mean blown away...yes it was cold and snowy, but it was friendly. I literally counted 20 deer as we were driving down the road and several wild turkeys. That place is very wild and unpopulated, yet it is civilized. So then my husband meets the guy, it goes well, but there aren't any jobs available at the moment. I was disappointed.

See, I have felt a strong desire to start over in a new place. We can be ourselves, we can be free to do exactly what God wants without worrying what others will think. My husband would likely have a much less stressful job, he would have friends and family to hunt and fish with, and time to do it. I could be in a church that had social activities and get to know his cousins with the 9 kids better. We hit it off great!

Honestly, the day before we left, I cried a lot. I didn't want to come back here and live in a house that never felt like home, in an isolated neighborhood, in a town that everyone already has their friends. Our own friends and family are too busy for us. Our church is small and not social. Plus, everything I had dreamed of was there. I could have an old farmhouse with land and live next to our cousins who have all sorts of livestock. We could build our own barn and put our own animals in there. My children could run free with no fear of poisonous snakes or spiders, fire ants or poison ivy. We might actually not need an air conditioner.

But when the day came to leave, I was alright and at peace with going. As I traveled further south and the scenery changed, I started to feel sad. I was glad the trip was over when we arrived, but I wasn't glad to be 'Home' because this doesn't feel like home to me. The next day, while driving to church, I felt the same way again. I wasn't all that overjoyed to be back. I was glad to see everyone and the preaching was great, but I really felt out of place.

Later at my parents', I felt the same way. Now tell me, how is it you can feel uncomfortable in the place you've lived all your life? That is like being uncomfortable in your own skin. I guess home truly is where your heart is. Maybe it's because I'm not supposed to feel comfortable here on earth, since my true home is heaven. Maybe that's it.

Could be that we are so close to the coming of Jesus that I will never feel at home anywhere but heaven. A man from church told me this story:

A couple were driving down the road at nighttime the other day. They saw a man walking along the road and they pulled over to see if he needed a ride. He said no he was fine. They insisted that he should take them up on their offer. He said, "No I'm fine really, but I do have a message for you." Surprised, they asked him what the message was.

He said, "Gabriel is wetting his lips."

They turned to look at each other in question, and when they looked back at the man, he was gone. A police officer pulled up behind them and asked if everything was alright. They told him what happened and he said they (the couple) were the second ones to have such an encounter that night.

If you are confused, then let me explain. Gabriel is the one who will sound the trumpet and the church is 'stolen away in the twinkling of an eye' as Jesus' bride and will go to the marriage supper in heaven. Then comes the tribulation and antichrist on the earth.

People get ready, Jesus is coming and soon will be going home.


April 27, 2009

Brain in a Box

I just wrote a wonderful post, it got deleted. Angry....

April 26, 2009

Back in blogland

I am back in Texas. We rolled in last night about 10pm and boy were we glad to be done with driving! I'm telling ya, that is a trip! Overall, the girls did wonderful- no complaining or whining hardly. DVD players in the car were divine inspiration from the Lord :)

My head is full of things and my heart as well, much to write about soon. At the moment, my husband does not have a job in Michigan. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it, which I'll talk about later.

For this week I will first be doing some cleaning and laundry. Then I'm going to hit like a tornado and declutter this house mercilessly. We are also going to switch the living room and playroom and do some painting/decorating, yay! I am giving myself the whole month of May to do this. I visited my husband's cousins who have 9 kids and live in a medium size old farmhouse. There was no clutter. No extra stuff laying around. The kids made a mess, but it took no time to clean it up. I was in awe- especially since they homeschool, have goats and cows to milk, chickens to tend, gardens going, and lots of kitchen work. (sprouting, soaking, cheesemaking etc.) Oh yeah and the mom is pregnant with #10! They also didn't have TV or computer to distract, so I guess that helps :)

Alright, time to bathe the children and scrape something together for dinner. Then it's bedtime for them and I must continue with unpacking etc.

April 20, 2009

Lovely Springtime

I'm back for a minute.

Guess what I did today, on this spring day of April 20th? Made a SNOWMAN!

That is correct. It has been snowing hard the whole day here in the U.P. and there is now at least 6 inches of snow. We had to go to Goodwill and buy snowgear so the girls could play! However, it has been great because it's not really that cold and the snow is wet and sticky. They had a lot of fun.

The trip itself was a doozy. We had SO many obstacles- delayed departure, health issues, forgetting stuff, getting delayed in traffic etc. But, we made it, with God's help :) The girls are enjoying themselves and so are the grandparents. I'm pretty much doing nothing :) Weird feeling too.

Well, they're all wanting to start a movie, so I better get! Later...

April 15, 2009

Crunch time

Okie doke, this here is my last post for a bit. There is a possibility that I might post while away, but I'm not going to make it a priority unless I'm extremely bored!

I have a big list of things to do- finish packing, cleaning, getting all the little last minute things done. I am rather slow and not terribly motivated to do any of it :) I am a bit nervous about this trip- it is so terribly long. I pray we don't have to stop much, but I have no idea how long my children's bladders will hold out before needing a bathroom. Or my pregnant one, lol.

We welcome your prayers- we will be traveling through the rest of Texas, Arkansas, Missouri and part of Illinois tomorrow. We stop around Springfield, then the next day is the rest of Illinois, Wisconsin and finally, Michigan! Every time we go, it seems that the last 2 hour stretch of driving will last forever!

My husband and I will be celebrating our 8th anniversary the 21st, and his parents have agreed to watch our children overnight while we head to a remote bed and breakfast. Yippee! I desperately need some alone time. So, no time left for dilly dallying.

God bless!

April 14, 2009

My House, again

I am posting my link to my tour of my house post- wow that doesn't sound right at all. I did it in January, shortly after moving. Things have changed already! My girls' room looks SO much better- very cute. Can't take a pic because it's nap time.

Here it is.

Some baking

In the midst of all the trip preparations, I've needed to bake bread and cookies. Bread because we're out and only had $11 in the bank (oopsie) and cookies for our trip. I figured it would be better to bring something homemade than buy the cheapo cookies with unknown ingredients- especially since we'll be cooped up in the car with each for two whole days. No mad sugar rush please :)

Anyways, I've recently been changing my bread recipe a little, and it has resulted in some fantastic bread! Now to look at it, it doesn't look all that spectacular does it?

But it is SO soft, and stays that way. The recipe I use is actually one for making cinnamon rolls in the bread machine and I tweaked it. Let me see if I can remember it:

For two loaves of bread, and I make the dough in the bread machine:

2 cups water
1/3 cup sweetener (sugar, honey whatever)
1 stick of butter
2 t salt
3 cups all purpose flour (I use unbleached)
3 cups whole wheat flour (gold medal brand)
1 T yeast

*sprinkle of powdered ginger
* 2 t soy lecithin

When all ingredients are layered in the machine, I sprinkle the last two around the top. Ginger and soy lecithin, which is easily found in the health food store, are dough conditioners. If I was doing 100% or 90% whole wheat I would add 3T of vital wheat gluten. I don't know the chemistry of ingredients, but I got the idea from Tammy's Recipes and it works.

Yesterday when the dough was done, I divided into two parts, made one into regular bread, and made the other into cinnamon swirl bread. OH! I have eaten way to much of that...Goooooddd. The 'plain' loaf isn't sweet tasting, but just has a good flavor, even texture, is soft which the kiddies love, and is firm enough to slice easily. Can't beat that!

Also, I am out of eggs. I mean, I have loads of boiled Easter eggs, but used the last two raw ones in hubby's omelet this morning. So I had to find a cookie recipe with no eggs. These cookies are GREAT! I prefer them over cookies with eggs.

I changed the recipe a little, just subtracting some sugar and using some whole wheat flour and chocolate chips instead of raisins.

For the recipe go here.

April 13, 2009

Back to the grind

Wow, glad all that's over with. I love Easter and everything, but we bit off almost more than we could chew this year :) I decided to make everyone's dresses and baskets this year, mainly for cost reasons. That turned out to be more involved than I thought- maybe because I'm slower or something.

My husband felt the Lord leading him to do a skit at church on Sunday, which involved locating willing people to perform it, meeting up there to practice it etc. Thankfully I didn't have to be in it- I did the lights! He is amazing at acting, I am not :)

Then we had the big family gathering Saturday- had to make a cheesecake for that you know, plus color eggs for the hunt :) After church yesterday, big relief! Now I have to focus on getting ready for our trip. First, here's a picture of my daughters and my niece in matching dresses Saturday.

My niece is the one with the two blue bows. Of course out of all the pictures I took, none of them were all smiling or looking the same direction.

We are leaving Thursday to travel to Upper Michigan, where my husband's family is and where he is from. This is also where we felt God leading us to move to. However, we're not sure what the plan is at the moment. It's a very hard place to be, because I've not really put down roots at this house for that very reason- what if we move again? Why did God put this so strongly on us in the fall, yet not open the door? Then more things seemed to be pointing that we stay here in Texas- new position at work for dh, me getting pregnant, a 'free' house to live in etc.

And now, my emotions are involved and I don't want to leave. Yet at the same time I want to do what God has for us, and I certainly want better for my husband. His job is so stressful, yet we have a lot of debt to pay, so it's not like he can up and pick a different job.

So, we're thinking our trip this time will be the determining factor; he is going to visit a business that was interested in him before Christmas, so we'll see. Personally I can't imagine living somewhere that is still having winter right now. At least, winter to me! And if this does happen, I want it to be before the baby is born, however close we may be cutting it. Trying to pack up and move across country with 4 kids, one of which is a newborn, ain't my idea of adjusting well :) So, that leaves around 4 months to do it.

This may sound dumb, but I'm very proud of my origin, that I'm a Texan. I am proud of Texas- the one state Obama has totally avoided, ha. The saying 'Don't Mess with Texas' is really true. You just don't realize how many guns my relatives own :) I am borderline redneck...I'm saved, so that makes me more normal :) But I would only be visiting Texas if we move; my children will sound like Yoopers and not be able to say 'yall. Well, I doubt I"ll ever stop saying that, or 'fixin' to', so they may still say it. Tell ya one thing, if we do move, I'll be buying up lots of Texas items to decorate with- I don't have anything now. I live here, what's the point? Making my home look like Texas while living in Texas is kind of overkill.

RAMBLE much!!! I gotta go- plenty to do.

April 10, 2009

Friends and pics

Man...I sure do feel rejected right now.

Well, I've written about this before, but I'll go over it again. The last few years I have had a hard time finding other women to be friends with. I've been to three different MOPS groups (mothers of preschoolers) and just don't fit. So I figured I was to be a loner for awhile, until the girls started school and made friends or something.

So I moved back to this house and I'm in town now. Lately I've been seeing this one lady I know all the time! We just keep running into each other; our children are the same ages, we are both pregnant and due in the summer, we're into health stuff etc. So I finally called her today and we talked about c-sections and stuff like that, and then as I tried to branch out into other topics, she said she had to go and to keep in touch.

Keep in touch...generally that doesn't condone a message of " I want to get to know you better". Also, I had a best friend. If you've been reading since the beginning you will remember this story. She wasn't a Christian and went down the wrong path. I kept praying and running into her. She hit ROCK BOTTOM and finally gave her life to God. She contacted me and I began discipling her and renewing our friendship. This girl is like my other half- we have a very special connection, even more so now that we are both saved. Well, after being very close and seeing each other a lot for a year, she drops me. We talk occasionally, but the last time we did, she dropped that same line.

"Keep in touch." That was two months ago. I decided not to call anymore. It hurts too much.

What's the deal? God used me in both of these ladies lives- the mom was praying about vbac options and I was able to offer a lot of info. Why can't I have a friend too? I am always being 'used', which is what I want, truly. But, I would like someone I could meet for lunch, or go shopping with, or just have a playdate with. Someone who understands where I am in life and can be a help and I can help her. It's very discouraging. I've been praying about it, but I wonder sometimes if the reason I haven't befriended anyone else is because we're supposed to move. I don't know.

On a lighter note, I decided to take some random pictures of my home today. I make a drink called kombucha- it's basically a fermented tea beverage. You use this thing called a scoby, a culture, that sits in the tea and converts it to a healthy tonic. Each time you make it, a new one forms on the top. Mine are out of control. They are taking over and I don't know what to do with them. This jar is a GALLON size jar...

Kinda gross huh?

Here's my favorite coffee cup.

My vintage, handmade toaster cover.

Our current fridge art. Leiah did this and I think it looks pretty good myself.

The kitchen table, with the various clutter lying beneath it.

What I was doing when I decided to take these pictures.

What I will do after I take the pictures.

My living room with the Easter decor.

The shelves loaded with all my trinkets, and the children's books.

The sewing 'hall' with all the current Easter dresses being finished up.

One of the Easter baskets I fixed the other day- they are hiding in my closet right now...

April 9, 2009

Well, I went for another sonogram today, thinking we would get to see for sure if we had a boy or girl. The baby was breech with legs all crunched up underneath it. The doctor couldn't even make a guess!

Rascal. I have to wait another month before we can tell for sure. I'm a bit bummed...I haven't gotten into 'baby mode' yet, and now it's even harder.

Oh well.

Got dresses to sew and Easter eggs to color now...

April 8, 2009

Remember this?

Today I read John 11, the story of Lazarus. For some reason, this story is so touching to me. I think it's my favorite in the Bible, and I literally grew up listening to Carman. I had a hankering to hear this song, so I found it and here it is.

youtube - carman - lazarus.flv

Breakfast choices

Conversation at breakfast:

Sarah, the three year old: "Mommy I'm hongry, I want eggs." (yes I put an 'O' in there on purpose, that's how she says it.)

Me: "OK, but I gotta cook them first."

Sarah has donned her bib and gotten a fork and is bouncing up and down beside me while I cook scrambled eggs. She sits at the table while I bring her a plate of eggs.

Sarah: "Mommy, I don't want eggs."

Me: "Yes you do. You asked for eggs. Do you want some ketchup?"

Sarah: "No, I don't want the eggs."

Me: "Well, do want this cereal?" (I had poured some dry cereal in a bowl for her earlier)

Sarah: "No I don't want cereal."

Me, letting out a deep sigh,: "Sarah, what do you want?"

Sarah: " I want cat food."

April 6, 2009

This is long...I am a recovered food snob

I've come to realize something. It's rather humbling, but hindsight is 20/20...

I used to be a food/nutrition snob. Yeah.

What do I mean by that? Well, I was a snob because I patted myself on the back for everything I was doing 'right' and comparing myself to others. For instance, someone might think they're doing a great job of healthy cooking by making their own whole wheat bread and cooking oatmeal for breakfast daily, yet I would notice that they did not SOAK their oats properly or make SOURDOUGH bread, thus they weren't in the 'know' and just weren't benefiting from proper nutrition.

That's the thing about accruing knowledge- it is easy to judge and look down on others who do not have the same knowledge as you. I felt I was doing everyone a favor by telling them how they should be eating and cooking...hmmm...was I a bit of a know- it-all maybe?

I fully support the Nourishing Traditions way of living. More and more people are jumping on the 'bandwagon' so to speak, which is great. But as I read more people's blogs about cooking and special diets and health problems etc. I realize that it can become an idol. It becomes the majority of what you think about.

For a long time, I really felt that I couldn't in good conscience abandon the traditional ways of cooking as in, fermented foods, organic, soaked whole grains, lots of good fats etc., lots of stock...Plus, I needed to do that for us to eat well on a strict budget when we lived in our other house. It was very valuable and we were healthy.

But, just about all of that took a backseat after Christmas. My preggo self couldn't devote so much time to it. I felt guilty some, but now I feel freed. No longer do I feel so staunch about what we can and cannot eat. What did Jesus say?

"Do you not yet understand that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and is eliminated? But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man. " Matthew 15:17-18

Now, that doesn't mean we should be ignorant and eat junk food all the time. God has opened our understanding in this time regarding food and health, and rightly so! Look at all the weird stuff going around. I have been sick more the last few months than in the last few years combined! But still, I glorify the Lord, because He has been there and encouraged us to keep the faith and not give in. He is our source, not perfect food in a perfect environment.

This is what I think we as knowledgeable Christians should do.

1. We all know how to eat right. We need lots of good quality fruits and vegetables, both cooked and raw. Cooked veggies are better utilized in the body with good fat and sea salt applied to them. (like butter,mmm.) Raw veggies are easily assimilated with a high enzyme dressing, such as one made with real apple cider vinegar or fresh lemon juice and good olive oil.

2. Fresh, farm raised meats, eggs and dairy are obviously better for us, so we should pursue that route. However, it's not worth getting stressed out over. Ask the Lord to lead you, and if it means going to the regular grocery store and buy their meat, then trust Him.

3. Sugar- white death! Healthy sweets are raw honey, stevia, natural sugars and maple syrup. These are pricey, especially when baking. Try to cut down on the amount of regular sugar, or use some of both to stretch the healthier stuff. Some is better than none!

4. Whole grains are nutrient dense foods and cheaper than high quality meats. When I can, I buy organic, because it is still cost effective. I love brown rice plain, weird! I mix whole wheat flour with some unbleached to make bread, cookies, whatever. I try to always soak our Scottish oatmeal, but if I don't, I have instant oatmeal packets on hand.

This is what is in my home now. I have a hard time getting up in the morning to make breakfast in time for the ones leaving the house. So, they usually eat cereal (honey cheerios or Life), instant oatmeal, have toast with peanut butter and syrup, or sometimes I buy microwavable sausage biscuits. Yes, processed food in my house :) However, if I can, I fry some eggs in coconut oil and serve it with whole wheat cinnamon honey toast.

I buy graham crackers, goldfish, peanut butter sandwich crackers for snacks, also the Dora yogurt and applesauce. (all regular applesauce has high fructose corn syrup in it, what gives?) My children eat loads of banans and apples during the week too. They drink apple and orange juice, water, iced tea and sometimes milk.

Dinner is always from scratch and served with lots of veggies, either raw or cooked or both. I have been buying a brand of pasta that is supposed to be high fiber but it looks like white pasta, or one that is a blend of white and whole wheat flour. (the whole wheat kind tastes weird) I cook beans every once in awhile- we got beaned out! We've been eating lots of potatoes and pasta lately. Rambling, rambling, rambling....

Soooo, what I'm getting at is I've learned my lesson. There is a good way, a better way, and a perfect way. The perfect way is doing what God is telling you to do, and leave others alone unless they ask :) Just for kicks this is what I ate yesterday and today:
Breakfast yesterday- bowl of cereal, one poached egg, glass of juice with vitamin C drink in it
Lunch- salad and pizza and soda
Dinner- 1 slice of pizza, soda, some chicken soup, bowl of cereal before bed

Today's breakfast- two fried eggs, some fried potatoes (in coconut oil, very healthy) orange juice
Lunch- coke and Jack-in-the-Box Burger
Dinner- not sure yet, either potato soup and salad or Poor Man's Meal (fried potatoes with onions and hot dogs)
I haven't eaten any snacks yet...we have been very out of sync with our normal schedule because Leiah got sick last night and I had to go to the doctor in another town today, and yesterday we had drama practice at church and ordered pizza there. I plan to work hard on getting the junk out this week before the big Easter candy weekend...

April 3, 2009

The Present

Today is better.

I have managed, by the Lord's strength, to clean my house. He helped my children be cooperative and they did an excellent job helping me. I am now living by one of fly lady's quotes,
"Housework done incorrectly still blesses your family."

I did correctly pick up the house well and vacuum thoroughly, I got my daughters to windex all smudged areas and Febreeze the furniture, (important note- give children 3 and under a spray bottle of water and they will love to clean) however, I not so thoroughly used the chlorox wipes to clean the whole bathroom. But hey, it's disinfected even if it hasn't been scrubbed perfectly clean. God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt...generally :)

Yesterday, mid-morning, I was feeling better and wanted to try to stick to my routines. I figured I could at least do the dishes, pick up a little, and do a load of laundry. I did! And the house didn't get out of control. Well it was messy, but I was able to really clean it up good after bathtime last night. I even did the dishes before bed, wow.

I have been pretty frustrated with myself lately, because you know, looking at the monthly list I am way behind. I enjoy sewing, but it does take chunks of time, isn't portable, and I'm no expert at it. What's even more frustrating is that fabric is no longer cheap. It might cost me more to make something myself than go to walmart. In the case with Easter dresses, if I made the pretty fluffy ones with fancy fabrics, it certainly would cost me a lot more than buying it depending on where you go. But I opted for printed cottons and a simple pattern. That way it has several uses.

I am rambling now...what I'm getting at is I keep looking back to what I was. How efficient I was in everything before pregnancy. I was like a giant in faith too. I have been examining myself closely trying to figure out what happened.

Two things:
1. My husband and I both allowed our focus to shift from the One our faith is in, to the things we needed to happen. Seeking the blessing more than the One who blesses. Checking off my list of things I did right to get to the end rather than walking in love relationship with Jesus.

2. I have allowed various harmful things into my thoughtlife and have permitted them to become habitual ways of thinking. One example is body hatred. I have loathed my body for awhile, and God really spoke to me yesterday, that my body is His temple and how dare I look at it with hatred. So I had to forgive myself and love myself. There are other things that have been going on, very personal though. Little sneaky things that become strongholds if not rooted out.

Another thing that I have realized is that even in the span of a few months, the pressure is greater. Somewhere in the Bible, I haven't found it yet, there is a passage about the pressure of the last days being so great that God would have to shorten the days. Things are happening faster than I imagined, and the pressure is greater, therefore it's more difficult to stand strong.

So now, I must look to the present state of my life, not backwards. It seems we're always looking to the future or to the past, not the present. I can't change the past and I don't know the future, so it's best to focus on the here and now. Hard to do. This is the new me- pregnant, mom of three active children, a bigger home to care for, a husband who is in a stressful job position and a never ending desire to escape the mundane :) I don't cook from scratch near as much as before when finances were very tight; I sometimes bake bread and goodies, I don't hang my clothes outside ( no line yet), I don't use cloth diapers much, I don't wear skirts/dresses exclusively, I allow more junk food for my children...

But, we're in a new phase and our life may never look like it did before. That's ok, gotta go where God wants us. Soon, it will be summer, and life will not revolve around keeping house. I want to spend lots of time with the girls before the baby gets here and our garden will be in full swing. Plus, my 5 year old will start school next fall, and I will see less of her. Then we'll have a new baby and school will start. My three year old may even go to preschool, so life will be very different. My blog might even go out then, we'll see.

So I'm just reminding myself to get to reality and live in the now with what we're doing now, not what I hope it will be or what I used to be. I'm doing my best and that's all that is required.

April 2, 2009

Sick Day

Well, I got quite a bit done yesterday with sewing, but ran out of fabric! The yardage chart must be wrong on the pattern envelope because I didn't have near enough fabric- shoot! I could have finished one whole dress too!

Today I woke up sick. I've been battling sinus/allergy whatever for going on three weeks now, and this morning I felt pretty bad. My dear husband has looked up all different home remedies and doctored me up, because if I go to a doctor, either they will do nothing for me and I will have spent my money for nothing, or they will give me antibiotics or some other high powered drug that I do NOT want to take.

So, I am taking colloidal silver, apple cider vinegar, honey with lemon juice, he is getting me Emergen C packets and fresh thyme to make a tea out of, and I'm supposed to eat some cayenne at some point :) I feel better since I took some Tylenol for the headache, but man!

I have been sick so many times since I've been pregnant- highly unusual for me. I've been reading up on it and I guess my immune system just needs more help than normal since my body is nourishing a baby as well. Too many fires going huh? Soooo, I'm just going to have to be more diligent about caring for my body than I have been. I mean, I eat fairly well, could do better, but I'm doing better than most everyone I know.

My husband and I have been talking about getting some more supplements, like good vitamins and fish oil, yet we haven't actually done it. Guess we need to get them now and quit talking!

April 1, 2009


I am going to be busy for awhile, sewing dresses and making other things for Easter. Hopefully I can take pictures of the progress and share them.

For now I have to hurry to the grocery store to buy food and get back so I can start cutting out fabric and get to work! Not to mention there is a literal mountain of laundry to fold- I'm great at washing and drying it, folding and putting away are dreadful to me.

However, I have put myself on the flylady system, by sticking to routines. I didn't quite make it with the bedtime routine last night, but I've done alright with the morning one. It seems like it takes forever just for me to take care of the normal morning stuff before I can even start on the day's work, so I thought if I did as much as possible the night before, that would help. Problem is, I'm usually beat then!

I'll keep working at it...I gotta go and finish getting ready to shop. Yea.