Man...I sure do feel rejected right now.
Well, I've written about this before, but I'll go over it again. The last few years I have had a hard time finding other women to be friends with. I've been to three different MOPS groups (mothers of preschoolers) and just don't fit. So I figured I was to be a loner for awhile, until the girls started school and made friends or something.
So I moved back to this house and I'm in town now. Lately I've been seeing this one lady I know all the time! We just keep running into each other; our children are the same ages, we are both pregnant and due in the summer, we're into health stuff etc. So I finally called her today and we talked about c-sections and stuff like that, and then as I tried to branch out into other topics, she said she had to go and to keep in touch.
Keep in touch...generally that doesn't condone a message of " I want to get to know you better". Also, I had a best friend. If you've been reading since the beginning you will remember this story. She wasn't a Christian and went down the wrong path. I kept praying and running into her. She hit ROCK BOTTOM and finally gave her life to God. She contacted me and I began discipling her and renewing our friendship. This girl is like my other half- we have a very special connection, even more so now that we are both saved. Well, after being very close and seeing each other a lot for a year, she drops me. We talk occasionally, but the last time we did, she dropped that same line.
"Keep in touch." That was two months ago. I decided not to call anymore. It hurts too much.
What's the deal? God used me in both of these ladies lives- the mom was praying about vbac options and I was able to offer a lot of info. Why can't I have a friend too? I am always being 'used', which is what I want, truly. But, I would like someone I could meet for lunch, or go shopping with, or just have a playdate with. Someone who understands where I am in life and can be a help and I can help her. It's very discouraging. I've been praying about it, but I wonder sometimes if the reason I haven't befriended anyone else is because we're supposed to move. I don't know.
On a lighter note, I decided to take some random pictures of my home today. I make a drink called kombucha- it's basically a fermented tea beverage. You use this thing called a scoby, a culture, that sits in the tea and converts it to a healthy tonic. Each time you make it, a new one forms on the top. Mine are out of control. They are taking over and I don't know what to do with them. This jar is a GALLON size jar...
Kinda gross huh?
Here's my favorite coffee cup.
My vintage, handmade toaster cover.
Our current fridge art. Leiah did this and I think it looks pretty good myself.
The kitchen table, with the various clutter lying beneath it.
What I was doing when I decided to take these pictures.
What I will do after I take the pictures.
My living room with the Easter decor.
The shelves loaded with all my trinkets, and the children's books.
The sewing 'hall' with all the current Easter dresses being finished up.
One of the Easter baskets I fixed the other day- they are hiding in my closet right now...