This isn't what I wrote about yesterday that got deleted. I decided to wait until I could do pictures of it. Explanation: our laptop's power supply cord got broken and it has zero battery back up, so I have to use the dinosaur computer from 1998 until we get a new one. This one doesn't adapt to uploading pictures too well, plus it's harder for me to get to.
As I said earlier, I was kind of nervous about our trip, because of what it might mean. Back in the fall, my husband and I really felt a pull or direction from God to move up there. Yet, financially, we couldn't just up and move with him having a job. So, he began searching for something and we've been in a waiting period. During that time, a lot of changes have been made, making us wonder what we're supposed to do- go or stay? Months went on with nothing from Michigan, we had moved again, I was now pregnant, dh got a promotion at work etc. Everyone else had kind of forgotten about it as well.
So, we decide to make the trip since I said no way I am riding the car for two days 8 months pregnant this summer. My husband called one place up to let them know we were coming and they set up an interview. So anyways, I'm ancy all weekend. We meet all of Matt's relatives at a birthday party, we go to church with his parents and everyone is so excited to meet us. We have other friends and family wanting to visit us. This has never really happened before on other trips.
I had already looked at real estate and was blown away by how cheap it is up there! I mean blown away...yes it was cold and snowy, but it was friendly. I literally counted 20 deer as we were driving down the road and several wild turkeys. That place is very wild and unpopulated, yet it is civilized. So then my husband meets the guy, it goes well, but there aren't any jobs available at the moment. I was disappointed.
See, I have felt a strong desire to start over in a new place. We can be ourselves, we can be free to do exactly what God wants without worrying what others will think. My husband would likely have a much less stressful job, he would have friends and family to hunt and fish with, and time to do it. I could be in a church that had social activities and get to know his cousins with the 9 kids better. We hit it off great!
Honestly, the day before we left, I cried a lot. I didn't want to come back here and live in a house that never felt like home, in an isolated neighborhood, in a town that everyone already has their friends. Our own friends and family are too busy for us. Our church is small and not social. Plus, everything I had dreamed of was there. I could have an old farmhouse with land and live next to our cousins who have all sorts of livestock. We could build our own barn and put our own animals in there. My children could run free with no fear of poisonous snakes or spiders, fire ants or poison ivy. We might actually not need an air conditioner.
But when the day came to leave, I was alright and at peace with going. As I traveled further south and the scenery changed, I started to feel sad. I was glad the trip was over when we arrived, but I wasn't glad to be 'Home' because this doesn't feel like home to me. The next day, while driving to church, I felt the same way again. I wasn't all that overjoyed to be back. I was glad to see everyone and the preaching was great, but I really felt out of place.
Later at my parents', I felt the same way. Now tell me, how is it you can feel uncomfortable in the place you've lived all your life? That is like being uncomfortable in your own skin. I guess home truly is where your heart is. Maybe it's because I'm not supposed to feel comfortable here on earth, since my true home is heaven. Maybe that's it.
Could be that we are so close to the coming of Jesus that I will never feel at home anywhere but heaven. A man from church told me this story:
A couple were driving down the road at nighttime the other day. They saw a man walking along the road and they pulled over to see if he needed a ride. He said no he was fine. They insisted that he should take them up on their offer. He said, "No I'm fine really, but I do have a message for you." Surprised, they asked him what the message was.
He said, "Gabriel is wetting his lips."
They turned to look at each other in question, and when they looked back at the man, he was gone. A police officer pulled up behind them and asked if everything was alright. They told him what happened and he said they (the couple) were the second ones to have such an encounter that night.
If you are confused, then let me explain. Gabriel is the one who will sound the trumpet and the church is 'stolen away in the twinkling of an eye' as Jesus' bride and will go to the marriage supper in heaven. Then comes the tribulation and antichrist on the earth.
People get ready, Jesus is coming and soon will be going home.