April 28, 2009


This isn't what I wrote about yesterday that got deleted. I decided to wait until I could do pictures of it. Explanation: our laptop's power supply cord got broken and it has zero battery back up, so I have to use the dinosaur computer from 1998 until we get a new one. This one doesn't adapt to uploading pictures too well, plus it's harder for me to get to.

As I said earlier, I was kind of nervous about our trip, because of what it might mean. Back in the fall, my husband and I really felt a pull or direction from God to move up there. Yet, financially, we couldn't just up and move with him having a job. So, he began searching for something and we've been in a waiting period. During that time, a lot of changes have been made, making us wonder what we're supposed to do- go or stay? Months went on with nothing from Michigan, we had moved again, I was now pregnant, dh got a promotion at work etc. Everyone else had kind of forgotten about it as well.

So, we decide to make the trip since I said no way I am riding the car for two days 8 months pregnant this summer. My husband called one place up to let them know we were coming and they set up an interview. So anyways, I'm ancy all weekend. We meet all of Matt's relatives at a birthday party, we go to church with his parents and everyone is so excited to meet us. We have other friends and family wanting to visit us. This has never really happened before on other trips.
I had already looked at real estate and was blown away by how cheap it is up there! I mean blown away...yes it was cold and snowy, but it was friendly. I literally counted 20 deer as we were driving down the road and several wild turkeys. That place is very wild and unpopulated, yet it is civilized. So then my husband meets the guy, it goes well, but there aren't any jobs available at the moment. I was disappointed.

See, I have felt a strong desire to start over in a new place. We can be ourselves, we can be free to do exactly what God wants without worrying what others will think. My husband would likely have a much less stressful job, he would have friends and family to hunt and fish with, and time to do it. I could be in a church that had social activities and get to know his cousins with the 9 kids better. We hit it off great!

Honestly, the day before we left, I cried a lot. I didn't want to come back here and live in a house that never felt like home, in an isolated neighborhood, in a town that everyone already has their friends. Our own friends and family are too busy for us. Our church is small and not social. Plus, everything I had dreamed of was there. I could have an old farmhouse with land and live next to our cousins who have all sorts of livestock. We could build our own barn and put our own animals in there. My children could run free with no fear of poisonous snakes or spiders, fire ants or poison ivy. We might actually not need an air conditioner.

But when the day came to leave, I was alright and at peace with going. As I traveled further south and the scenery changed, I started to feel sad. I was glad the trip was over when we arrived, but I wasn't glad to be 'Home' because this doesn't feel like home to me. The next day, while driving to church, I felt the same way again. I wasn't all that overjoyed to be back. I was glad to see everyone and the preaching was great, but I really felt out of place.

Later at my parents', I felt the same way. Now tell me, how is it you can feel uncomfortable in the place you've lived all your life? That is like being uncomfortable in your own skin. I guess home truly is where your heart is. Maybe it's because I'm not supposed to feel comfortable here on earth, since my true home is heaven. Maybe that's it.

Could be that we are so close to the coming of Jesus that I will never feel at home anywhere but heaven. A man from church told me this story:

A couple were driving down the road at nighttime the other day. They saw a man walking along the road and they pulled over to see if he needed a ride. He said no he was fine. They insisted that he should take them up on their offer. He said, "No I'm fine really, but I do have a message for you." Surprised, they asked him what the message was.

He said, "Gabriel is wetting his lips."

They turned to look at each other in question, and when they looked back at the man, he was gone. A police officer pulled up behind them and asked if everything was alright. They told him what happened and he said they (the couple) were the second ones to have such an encounter that night.

If you are confused, then let me explain. Gabriel is the one who will sound the trumpet and the church is 'stolen away in the twinkling of an eye' as Jesus' bride and will go to the marriage supper in heaven. Then comes the tribulation and antichrist on the earth.

People get ready, Jesus is coming and soon will be going home.



true blessings said...

A young lady AT OUR CHURCH gave this same testimony , she said she went to a women's conference and a sister in Christ gave that testimony, it happened to her, and that the officer stopped her because she could not drive after what that man had told her, she was crying hysterically and the officer asked what was wrong and she looked over the man she had picked up , but he was gone and told the officer the message and the officer w/tears in his eyes told her she was the 8th person that week to tell her that!!!!!

Anneatheart said...


jesnicole said...

I haven't felt "at home" in about seven years now......especially since My Momma passed away.

You're in good company.

Kelly said...

If you decide to still move to MI you can join our natural parenting forum. It's full of wonderful women and even though you will be so far North, it will feel like you have friends all over the state. You can take a look at it as a guest I think but you have to join and have 10 posts before you can see the whole forum. Take care, Kelly

vehementflame said...

have you ever listened to Marian Anderson? she was an operatic singer in hte 20s- 60s. Just beautiful. As I read this I could hear her singing Heaven, Heaven and O what a beautiful city!

jesnicole said...

I tagged you! Check my blog. :)

atomic momma said...

Please be patient and trust God. I know your story all too well. We were THISCLOSE to moving to where we wanted - beautiful land near family, simpler life but the economy crashed and we are STUCK where we are now. Can't sell our house, hubby can't get a job to move where we want to.

I was angry and frustrated and tried to force the move for a long time. You just have to trust God and bloom where you're planted. And there's always blooming to be done no matter where you are.

Hugs and love.

liz from new york said...

it's scary and exciting all at the same time...people around me(except my immediate family) think i'm crazy! but i know what is true in my heart, the Savior is coming for His flock. With the advent of the new swine flu plague, can the end be far behind?

Anonymous said...

Cool! about the guy alongside the road!
I also felt that for years ~ same exact scenario about living in a place where I had lived all my life but not feeling "home". We finally moved across the country ~ not where we wanted to, but I just knew God moved us away so we could experience peace from the chaos of our lives "back home". I have no desire to even go back for a visit! Those last few years were very difficult. I had to completely let go ~ but I reminded God quite often about it being too much for me to handle. I think I've smiled more here than any time in my life ~ and I have virtually no close friends here and the area is ugly and boring ~ but I'm away from the old chaos!

I heard a missionary here in the US say that Muslims all over the place are having these odd dreams where a man dressed in white comes up to them and says "Read My Book". There was this one prominent Muslim man who kept getting this dream, so he finally put an ad in the paper asking "if you have had this dream ____ then call this number ___" He got about a dozen phone calls from people saying ,"How did you know!?" He read the Bible, told the others to, and became a Believer!

God is using all kinds of ways to reach those whom we don't have the guts to go tell. Shows how strong His will is, doesn't it!?

Come Lord Jesus ~ even THIS day!