We homemakers and mommies are in a precarious position. Especially those of us who blog and read blogs. I think the majority of us greatly desire to be the best we can in all areas. Yet being the best doesn't always look the same in each family.
I have always struggled with a fear of failing. I don't want the bad grade on my job. I don't want to fall short in any area of my life. Well, this sets me up for failure because I am human. If I start slipping in some area, then I begin comparing myself to others, or even worse, my PAST self!
" I wish I could do _______ like I did before the baby."
" I used to do _______ and __________ but now I just don't have time."
I remember reading a post on another blog, describing a woman like this:
This particular lady grinds her own wheat and bakes all the bread, has 8 children, breastfeeds them all, homeschools, keeps her house spotless, sews all the clothes for her family, raises chickens and milks her own cows, makes her own butter....Yet how would you feel about the lady if you knew she was an unbeliever? Suddenly it doesn't look so attractive does it?
The most important thing we can have for our families is a heart that is sold to the Lord. When our goal is to shine His light everyday in every way, then that is more important than that list of accomplishments up there.
Still, I get into the 'perfectionist' trap and then feel guilt. When the laundry is backed up again, the floor has junk all over it, the kids' rooms are a disaster, the dishes get piled up, the fridge is stinky, the windows are all smudged, the yard is littered and the kids are half naked when daddy gets home, I feel some GUILT! Big huge time guilt. I also get to feeling guilty for not being able to focus on my husband and the lack of time/ability to exercise and lose weight. Yet, it can't be helped right now.
And when I find myself getting stressed because the throw pillows aren't in the right place, or the cooking utensils are in the wrong drawer, then Miss Perfectionist has taken residence. Where is the balance?!
I don't know! I do know that having a plan each day helps. But then the to do list can sometimes mock you when you've worked hard all day and not ONE single thing got done on that list. I also know that if you get up earlier, things go so much better. I am in the process of creating a new home management binder. It's smaller, or skinnier, as I am leaving my recipes in the older big one. Basically I am working on daily routines for myself and a weekly plan, because I have lost track of things a lot lately. Life will go much smoother if I can focus on these things. And then one day, suddenly things will get easier, and there will be more time for those things.
And then, I'll think wistfully upon my baby's newborn days, my three year old's cuteness, and be sad that it's gone :) Why do things work this way?!?
Anyways, if I am doing my absolute best, then I shouldn't have anything to feel guilty about. If I do, then I need to go to God's Word and read what He thinks about me, and resist the enemy. He'll leave if you resist and take the guilt with him.
Have a wonderful weekend!!!