November 12, 2008

Day of Messes-warning, partly a female post

Yesterday was like the Twilight Zone or something. I woke up late for starters and found that (sorry if the is too much info) I had 'leaked' onto my bed. (from the monthly visitor) I didn't have time to change the bed because I needed to get Leiah ready for school. So I make her lunch and get breakfast started and realize that she has leaked on her bed (pee) and Alexa (the middle one) has also peed Sarah's bed.

After I got Leiah to school and go to get the beds changed, I find that Sarah took off her diaper and then peed in Alexa's bed. So, I get everything changed and washed. As the day went on, I myself went through two more pairs of clothes because I was bleeding so heavily! During snack time, I made them all sit at the table because I'm tired of cleaning crumbs off of everything. I got a phone call, and somehow they still managed to make a huge mess on the floor I had just mopped!!! So, about 4:30 in the afternoon they wanted to go outside. It has been pouring down rain for two days so the world is soggy and puddles all over. So I let them go- within 5 minutes all of them have fallen in the water. Sarah is dragging a blanket that I just washed that she peed on that morning. So I go outside to get them and my neighbor comes over to talk. I look over and Sarah has taken her skirt and diaper off, in the soggy yard. So I run over to fix her and step into a mudhole- my whole foot is covered in mud. The neighbor is still trying to talk to me through all of this- so I wash it off in a puddle and see that Sarah has taken off her shoes and is running in the wet grass in socks only. Finally, I get everyone to the porch, strip them down, get changed and get dinner on the table!

My husband had a wild day at work too...anyone else? Full moon?? Weird...

So, here's my question- ( I will try to give it as much feeling as possible)- CAN ANYONE HELP ME POTTY TRAIN MY CHILDREN PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stink at it- I can't even remember how we got Alexa trained. (just before she turned three) Sarah will be three in March and she seems to understand, but completely resists it. I haven't tried treats or anything yet. I have the toilet training in a day book, but I don't have a doll that potties...

Leiah you know is special and has a lack of communication at present. She goes potty at school but I don't know if she is actually going in the toilet. At home she doesn't indicate a need to go at all. Part of it is my fault because I get busy and forget. It's also hard for her to get up and down off the potty and pulling the clothes up and down can be a challenge for her too. She will be 6 in January, and I know she wants to be a big girl. I personally am getting real tired of changing poops- 2 or 3 a day. And we just can't afford all the pull ups/wipes and night time diapers. (those Goodnights things are expensive!)

So someone, please have mercy and help me. Come to my house and walk me through for the next few months. Ha, ha, just kidding...I wish...

Must get off- shopping day today.


prayzgod said...

My four year still has pee accidents if I don't stay on him about it. I try to remind him to use the potty several times a day, and that helps a lot. For a while, he used to say "I don't need to go potty," and then 10 minutes later he has soggy drawers. So I told him that when I tell him to use potty, he is to try, even if he doesn't think he needs to go. It's been working.

However, my dilema is night-training. The only one who is consistently dry each night is my 8yr old. My 6yr old wets about 4 or 5 nights a week, and my 4yr old absolutly drenches his goodnights and bed almost every single night.

I have tried not letting them have anything to drink after dinnertime, making sure they both potty right before bed, and then waking them up in the middle of the night for potty breaks, but it makes no difference. :-?

My youngest wets each night, but she's allowed - she's only 2. :-)

For your day time wetters, see if you can get yourself into the habbit of reminding them every few hours to use the potty. It's a lot more reminding on your part, but hopefully a lot less laundry. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I have a 13 year old special needs daughter whom we potty trained at 3.5. We dedicated an entire 7 days to the process. Before we started I made sure to teach her how to pull her panties up and down, and provided her with a potty that fit her needs. When it came time to train, I let everything else go that did not fit into my agenda and made this my priority. Yes we had a messy house for a week, and our meals were frozen ahead of time. I also helped my daughter to be responsible for her own accidents, by helping her to change clothes, and do laundry as needed. I personally do not like pull-ups during the day because they don't let the child know what it is like to feel wet. But, if your dd needs pullups at night, I would forgo expenses elsewhere, like specialty cooking ingredients, or my own nutritional supplements, or my weakness, fabric (!) to get her what she needs. I have seen many, many special needs children with low cognitive skills become potty trained. It is quite possible. It take dedication and determination on your part. Once you start training, do not give up and let her fall back into old habits. You CAN teach her potty skills! If I could move in for a few days, I would!

I have never potty trained a typical child, but I hear it is common to not train till the child id close to three years old. Again, if she shows signs of readiness, I would toss out the diapers and expect her to potty in the toilet. Make her responsible for her own accidents, help her to clean up after herself. Make it "no big deal" to you, just help her do what needs to be done.

Whew! I could write a book no the subject, because honestly, I thought my dd whould not be able to be potty trained. I am so thankful she is indepenedent in that area. Good luck!

mary in TN

Shannon said...

We have that book too. It didn't work for us.

For about a week you are going to have to toss out the house cleaning! Get a potty chair and keep it close at hand. In the kitchen. I know that sounds gross.

Put the girls in big girl undies. Let them make messes and let them help you clean up the mess. I know anther gross one! You need to explain to them. See mommy and daddy don't pee on the floor, we use the toilet.

I know you don't get a moment to yourself but take them with you to the bathroom. Let them watch. Not while you have your monthly though, they might get confused.

Pull ups are one of the worst crutches they could ever make. I made that mistake too. It's a crutch.

P.S. When I put my son in big boy undies he would pee & poop behind one of our chairs. See if they go and hide when they do their business. If so take the potty chair to that spot. Tell them it's ok if they go there as long as it's in the potty chair.

Anything to get it started, right. :D

Lots of hugs!

Shannon L. Fowler said...

Here's an article by an online friend of many years:

Hope it helps!!

Vix said...

All I can tell you is that we are there! We are at "war" with night time wetting... I can give advice about day training. The parents have to get trained first. I take my new learners every hour for the first few days. They must sit and pee, potties are great for that because you can tell they pee'd. I give a treat after every pee. No treat for a dry potty. Then after a few days we move to every 2 hours. Then after awhile, a long while, we are able to go Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. The rule is after you eat you pee and try to poop. At that point I do one treat for pee, two for poop. Then after a while of that I do the same dinner rule but I only give treats for poop. AFter about 6 months or so we've got it down and I dont have to ask them to pee anymore.

I am planning on doing the same thing at night with my 5 and 7 year old. Right now we are peeing every hour until I go to bed. That is not working..I need to extend it to every hour all night long.. ARg! But I think it will work. I took away all diapers. No more diapers for my 3,5,7's at night. I was A LOT of sheets.

Anonymous said...

Our whole family for generations potty trained at 3yrs old. We all did the same thing:
Don't plan outings for one whole week. Your three year old will walk around bare butted in the house for a week. Mom showed us where to "go" and explained it clearly with only the occasional reminder the first few days (use the big potty with a stool or one of those rings, but heaven's sake, use the real potty or you will be in a fix when you are away from home and that cute little potty on the floor isn't in the restaurant or store bathroom!!)

Because we were three, we could understand that if we feel like something needs to come out, then we run to the pot and climb on. Everyone cheers, mom cleans us and shows us how to wipe. We wash hands and continue going bare butted around the house for a week. Now, with every child in our family for generations, because we are THREE years old and aware/shy about ourselves a bit, it is a horrifying moment when something falls out of ourselves and onto the floor~! It usually only happens once, and then the embarrassment of it makes us remember to go on the pot the next time. There is no shaming, no scolding, just an "eeeww. gross. it fell on the FLOOR! phew. it stinks. lets clean it up and put it in the potty where it is supposed to go. I'll let you flush it!"

Simple pimple.

After the week, you can put training underwear on during the day (not pull-ups, if you can bear it because no matter how they get them on, they still feel and crunch like a diaper and you'll have to start all over. just the good old fashioned thick cloth underwear for toddlers.) There will be accidents, but they will be few and far between.

My son was fine with peeing in the pot, but Pooping was a different story. He didn't like the water splashing up on him. Solution? Put a thin layer of toilet paper on the top of the water so it "catches" the poo and doesn't splash. Problem solved. He gained confidence and the toilet paper skimming lasted about three weeks before he forgot the splashing affect.

I had a friend that bragged her daughter was potty trained at 2 years old. However, the mom was trained quite well as she was having to take her to the potty every half hour. This lasted for an entire YEAR... until, of course, she was three.

Three is the magic number. I'm telling you, don't even worry about this for one more minute until they're three. Special needs kids will be different, of course, but the average kid is easily trained at three. No stress.

Your daughters will laugh with embarrassment at this story when they are teens.

Hugs to you, and hang in there!

Kristi said...

I am struggling with potty training too! My daughter (4) thankfully, has always been a bit of an independent spirit, so once she decided that she could do it-she did it. The biggest thing I did for her was to remove the pull-ups! The only time she was allowed to wear them was when we were out of the house. (I didn't do that at first and then she wet all over the mall!!!) Lately, though she is completely potty-trained (day and night) she has forgotten how to poop in the toilet. I don't know if its just an attention thing, but she seems to mostly have come out of it, as long as I stay calm and rational. Buying "special wipes" for her to use (the flushable toddler variety) seemed to be enough incentive.

My son is a completely different story! He will be 3 in January and though I am pressured to potty-train, I just don't think he's ready yet. He is pretty delayed when it comes to communication, so even though he can understand me, he can't really tell me what is going on. When I DO decide to potty train (this summer, it's easier in the summer), I will dedicate about a week or so of frequent reminders but I also will be doing without pull-ups.

Mrs. Darling said...

Yikes potty training. So glad thats done. I have no suggestions but just want you to know that I am here and I have read and my sympathies are with you! LOL

Anonymous said...

Praise the good and ignore the bad! When your child goes in the potty.. go nuts over it! Give a treat, clap your hands and a giggle or shriek and tell them how proud of them you are and why. When they do not go in the potty simply tell them.. maybe next time. and tell them to go get cleaned up. Have them do it. Don't use pull ups. These are just money making gimmicks. They absorb the wetness like diapers do. How can they not like the wetness when they cannot feel it? Get those absorbant pads for the bed at night. They are washable. They run about $15.00 each, but you ban get several into one load and it will let them feel wet but protect the sheets. They also have a monitor you can snap into their underwear that rings when they start to wet. It runs about $50.00. Try to get them on a schedule with the food and liquids. Write down when they are wet. Then when you figure out when they wet, you can take them before they do and try to hit the potty. We are all on a schedule or routine if we think about it. Most of us go at around the same time every day unless we do something out of the norm. Keep trying. And last of all... take them with you into the bathroom and let them see you pee. Show them what you did and tell them how proud of yourself you are and what a big girl you are. Tell them that they can be a big girl too. Good luck!

Tereza said...

some good responses. what candy said about reminders..totally:)
night-they outgrow it:) my oldest peed in at night until about 10 then boom-gone. second never peed in once daytime trained. third peed in for a while, fourth nope, fifth nope, sixth nope, seventh is 3.5 y old and is now dry at night too, 19m old and baby are still full time diapers.

Anastasia-Jane said...

I always set a timer to remind me to remind them to go to the bathroom.. Also, no drinks after 7pm. This gave my son time enough to empty his bladder before gong to bed...

Saved Sinner said...

I left a comment last week but I guess it must have got lost in the aether.

I do elimination communication so don't have any personal experience of potty training but I have heard that some people have used some of the elimination communication methods to help with conventional potty training.

I posted a load of links here a while back which you may find useful if you want to look into it.

You may find the "Late Starters" yahoo group helpful as that would include people who are toilet training at a conventional age using ec methods rather than people like me who have done it from birth.

Anyway, I hope some of that is helpful.

Blessings in Christ,

Susan. :o)

Anonymous said...

I would give you this one advice. Only work on one thing and child at a time. sometimes if the other kids see the one succeeding and getting praise for it it will help encourage the others to try. Little boys seem to get very distracted in this area and play is more important. If you live in the country I would have a very simple solution for the spring, summer and fall seasons, allow them to pee outside behind a building or tree and tell only at home you can do this. then work on the other business once they are better at doing the first business. Don't stress out take one thing at a time and on child all will work out in the end.