I'm back. I have certainly been out of commission the last several days. That weird cough persisted and I didn't get adequate sleep for five days plus the usual pregnancy stuff plus we're moving...
There were a whole lot more things than that, but I do not wish to go through the details. I thought I would make a comparison of the things I used to do with what I do now, just for a laugh. Things change so rapidly when one is expecting!
Used To Do:
I had a daily cleaning plan
I cooked all meals from scratch
I planned the budget wisely
I made lots of frugal alternatives for detergent and cleaners and stuff like that
I entertained guests
My house was spic and span
My laundry was mostly caught up
Children had more limited TV time
I vacuumed and mopped
I worked on my daily Nourishing Traditions food work (kefir, soaking etc.)
I took good care of dh
Now I do:
The laundry hampers are overflowing so I pick out what we need the most and wash that
The dishes get done once a day or so
The carpet hasn't been vacuumed in awhile...at least a week
I haven't swept the floor in many days
I have loads of processed food in my cupboards and am thankful it's there
I haven't baked our bread in several weeks, however I did make homemade cinnamon rolls Monday.
Dh has to make his breakfast and lunch and fend for himself somewhat.
Dh has a daily errand to run after work, several times a week
(I am meeting his most basic needs, don't worry)
I spend several hours a day resting
healthy food makes me hurl, or want to, except I have been craving salads
I feel I need a makeover- I feel ugly and dumpy
Children have unlimited TV time, however they didn't even turn it on today! I am amazed.
All that to say, my paradigm has shifted a lot the last few weeks. Before I chafed when my bare feet would touch the grit on the floor- now it's not that bad. I would feel idle and like a failure if I didn't get my check list finished. I would be terribly embarrassed if someone came into my home and the throw blankets and pillows were out of order.
I have found that I have relaxed a lot and have enjoyed just watching my children. I have a deeper bond with them now that I've slowed down to watch them play and play with them. They don't care about check lists and will never know if Mom got it done. Today after I hauled some stuff to the 'old house' we're moving back into, I was feeling rather weak and hungry, so we high tailed it McDonald's since it was close. After the girls ate they went to the play ground and I sat and watched them, so thrilled with the simplicity of sliding and crawling around in some plastic tubes and eating deep fried potatoes and chicken. They were delighted and I felt truly blessed to have little ones. They remind you of being a kid yourself and not to be so serious all the time.
Hopefully after we move I will morph back into my old self a little so that we can have nutritious food and a clean home and some organization. I had been planning to post the pregnancy diet I was going to follow, but since I'm not really following it I decided to hold off.
Ok ladies, I am trying to figure out what to do. Many of you know that I have had three c-sections and have never been in labor. I tried for a vbac the last time, but my doctor put me in a hard place and sort of forced me into the surgery at the end. (yeah thanks a lot) I have been researching it for awhile, but my only options are c-section or unassisted birth. Midwives generally need to be backed my doctors, and doctors don't like vbacs, at least not as many as I've had.
I am praying, but I haven't got the right message yet. I am supposed to go next week for my first appointment with my OB from before- I mainly want to make sure there's just one baby :) But my husband and I aren't sure what to do since we will be moving again and relocating. I have been reading lots and watching lots of videos, but still am not sure of the right plan. I have spoken with one midwife and she turned me down.
C-sections aren't all bad, but I remember every detail, and surgery and hospitals just aren't pleasant. It's not home. I know labor and birth are hard work and somewhat painful and it's all new to me. I've never had a contraction! But, surgery isn't an easy recovery and i've never been able to breastfeed because of the pain. (for some reason I bleed for awhile until my skin toughens up, which it never does because I can't be hurting in three places at once. The nurses kept telling me the babies were latched on perfectly, but dang it hurt!)
I really want to work hard on this one, c-section or not, because it's free and the best for the baby and mom. (maybe I could lose some weight!) I am having a terrible time here- how am I supposed to wait another 7 months to hold this baby!? I can hardly wait to see and touch it. I have been 'baby hungry' for a good while, can you tell?
Ok, I have more research to do.