March 28, 2008
The Rod and Love
Disclaimer: This post is regarding child training and the 'S' word= spanking. Anyone who disagrees may want to skip it. But I feel it's important to say.
Anyone who is a regular reader of this blog knows that I pretty much tell it like it is, at least regarding my own life. I don't feel like I have things to hide and by opening myself up at times I notice that others are willing open up as well. Then we help each other.
This week I determined to work on child training. By that I mean that my daughters were getting a bit sassy, a bit too dramatic and not obeying. Dh and I are always having to repeat ourselves and they are always testing us. I did very good on Monday, but slacked a little on Tuesday and Wednesday, mostly because we were out and about and they were doing pretty good. Yesterday was ok, but I didn't do the best job of keeping my eyes on them.
So today I renewed my purpose to be as consistent as possible and more watchful. The past two mornings our older two girls have been getting up early, like before 6:30am. So by mid-morning they're getting tired and cranky. Today I learned something big and I'm going to tell it.
I had let my older two girls go outside in the front yard to watch some men cut down tree limbs away from the electrical wires. I was in the kitchen doing dishes and keeping my eyes on them. After awhile they came in and then Alexa, our four year old, said she was going back out. I said, 'No, close the door please." She said 'No-I don't want to." I said, 'Go stand in the corner.' She said, 'I don't want to stand in the corner." while beginning to tear up and get an angry look on her face. I made her come to me- she wouldn't. I got our very light wooden spoon, gave a swat, and said 'Come to me." I went and sat on the recliner, appearing to be bored. She finally came to me, then fell on the ground crying etc. Well, this went on for awhile until I put her in the corner. All I wanted her to do was stand there quietly and still for a few minutes. Nope- she was throwing a big fit. Whenever I would give her a light swat, she would scream bloody murder!
Keep in mind that I am calm throughout all of this- I am only giving light swats and outlasting her. I am not the villain! So, since she was disturbing her sisters, I took her to her room and she proceeded with falling all over the floor, crying etc. I told her that she needed a spanking because her behavior was unacceptable. I said I would give her three swats, and that I wanted her to come to me calmly. She cried and said she just wanted two swats- I said ok, how about 5? She sat there a minute, stopped crying and said with a big sigh," Okay, I'll get three swats." I started crying. She had given up her will to control the situation. I realized then that I didn't want to spank her, but that if I didn't, I would show her that I don't do what I say and would be doing wrong to her. So, through my tears I gave her three swats, and then we both started bawling. I hugged her for a long time, told her that I loved her and that if I didn't, I would just let her do whatever she wanted. I said if I let her do whatever she wanted, that she would grow up to be mean and selfish and unhappy, but because I loved her, she would be kind and obedient and happy.
She went to get some tissue to wipe her eyes and when she came back she looked at me and started crying again and said, "I still care for you Mommy." Then she gave me a hug.
I think I really got a glimpse of the Father and how He must have hated to have Jesus crucified. Or when we rebel against His will and finally surrender all to Him. As soon as she yielded the tears just overflowed. I don't care what people say, the Bible is the Truth regarding "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." Pr.13:24
Disciplining with the 'rod' is not easy nor fun, but necessary to teach our children. And obviously, if it were wrong, then my spirited daughter wouldn't say she cared for me or jump in my arms to be loved afterward.
"The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. " Pr. 29:15
"Apply your heart to instruction,
And your ears to words of knowledge.
Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell." Pr. 23:12-14
Posted by Anneatheart at 1:03 PM