June 11, 2008

Retraining

Since my post on my heart change towards my children, I've said I'm doing better but I haven't gone into the details of what exactly I am doing. It seems that a lot of us mothers struggle in this area, as it is so easy to let them do what they want and many of us did not have 'mom training'. We are learning by experience, on the job training.

A dear sweet lady has been 'mentoring' me, with some tough love. She is Mrs. Klause from Clothed with Scarlet. Go visit her :) I wrote a simple question how she organizes her day with her three little girls and how I can better train my children, and she began a series of emails that dug down to the core of my problem. God must have put a burden on her heart for me because I was so not expecting all the time and effort she gave to me. Thanks so much again.

So, the main thing I've been doing is keeping all of them with me as much as possible. I am not perfect in this, but I'm learning. So, instead of me running around getting the kitchen spotless after meals, I give them little jobs to do. Such as, Leiah and Alexa, ages 5.5 and 4.5 are able to bring their dishes to the sink and wipe down their 'spot' at the table and their chair. They can put things in the refrigerator, spot clean the floor, use the dust buster, hand wash some dishes etc. Then, we all go to the bedrooms and get dressed, make beds, tidy rooms then we all go to the bathroom and brush teeth and hair and clean up the bathroom, then we all go to my bedroom and make the bed, I finish tidying it up and getting myself ready etc.

For instance, this morning, after everyone got dressed and all that, I put Sarah in the highchair to eat breakfast, Alexa moved all of the videos to our shelves and arranged them by herself and Leiah stayed in the kitchen with me while I cleaned up breakfast. It worked very well- surprise! Then I vacuumed the living room quickly and got them busy with some coloring books while I made a menu and grocery list. Then things got hectic with a phone call, me trying to get a diaper changed and shoes on everyone and trying to get out the door. We went grocery shopping and that was not fun. These girls!!! They always act so terrible when I'm out- at least 80% of the time.

Things went downhill after that- Alexa and Sarah had an attitude, I was tired after all of that, the refrigerator is leaking etc. etc. Now everyone is down for naps, so hopefully we'll get refreshed and be nice again :)

While they are resting I need to finish some laundry, make some tea, make some bread and dessert and work on revamping my schedules. That way I'll be better able to guide them into what I'm doing without feeling behind and rushed. At least that's the plan. I'll do all of that after I rest a few minutes- hopefully I won't totally fall asleep :)

It's a bit harder to include them in everything, but it's getting easier. One day at a time :)

7 comments:

Thursday's Child said...

Don't be too discouraged. Sometimes it just seems easier to do things yourself instead of delegating them to little helpers. But if you aren't willing to put up with things not being perfect, how will they learn to do those things? You get help AND you're training them. What could be better?

mama said...

My munchkins are in the same room with me ALOT!! I just don't talk about it much:) But they are not always working with me. They often play right by me. Also all the rooms on my main floor are so close together, (11oo sq feet)which is where all life happens around here, that they are always within earshot. Cleaning up with them sounds really good for part of the morning I think.
Let us know the progress as I'm super interested to see how this goes for you.
Did you have your kids "far away" from you before or just not involved in your activities?
do you think they might need more outside time with you? Just wondering cause I know I always htink it's a strict schedule I need as soon as things seem hectic and a few days of being more attentive to them and me not being a lazy parent(not saying you are) solves the problem. What do you think about that? I'm interested in your take on this subject!
Thanks

Anonymous said...

You're way too hard on yourself. If I had to draw a chart of my day with a 3 1/2 year old and he is our only child it would have jagged peaks up and down the page and that would be for the first few hours of the day!

Do your best. Try. When it falls apart take a deep breath, vent, pick yourself up and try again.

you are so much better a mom than you give yourself credit for. Keep in mind...you have 3 little ones very close in age. Herding cats across the Great Divide would require less patience and effort!

Sarah Dee said...

I am still praying for you, girl! You are doing your best... things will not change overnight. Keep up the good work! :)

Jessica said...

I'm sure everything will get easier. It will take awhile to figure out a good schedule for you and your girls. I commend you for trying to include them. You get the best of both worlds....a clean house and teaching your girls. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

If your refrigerator is leaking, pop off the vent at the very bottom front and vacuum out the coils underneath. Unless you have a problem with an ice maker, that should do the trick!

If you don't have a bottom vent on your fridge, check the back of the fridge, on the outside, for coils, and vacuum!

This happened to my MIL and I stopped her from having to buy a new fridge.
HTH!
~KH

Jennifer said...

My 2 are getting a little crazier on shopping trips. To help them I take a snack, a small book, a notepad and pen - using a pen is a treat for them. I also get my boy to find items on my shopping list, while Bina sits in the cart. He's 3 so I give him clues, example; Ketchup, it's red, in a plastic bottle and starts with the letter K. He gets a gold fish for every item he finds and if he doesn't run around and stay close he gets 25 cents for his Piggy bank.
It also helps if they've just eaten and it's not close to nap time.