Since my post on my heart change towards my children, I've said I'm doing better but I haven't gone into the details of what exactly I am doing. It seems that a lot of us mothers struggle in this area, as it is so easy to let them do what they want and many of us did not have 'mom training'. We are learning by experience, on the job training.
A dear sweet lady has been 'mentoring' me, with some tough love. She is Mrs. Klause from Clothed with Scarlet. Go visit her :) I wrote a simple question how she organizes her day with her three little girls and how I can better train my children, and she began a series of emails that dug down to the core of my problem. God must have put a burden on her heart for me because I was so not expecting all the time and effort she gave to me. Thanks so much again.
So, the main thing I've been doing is keeping all of them with me as much as possible. I am not perfect in this, but I'm learning. So, instead of me running around getting the kitchen spotless after meals, I give them little jobs to do. Such as, Leiah and Alexa, ages 5.5 and 4.5 are able to bring their dishes to the sink and wipe down their 'spot' at the table and their chair. They can put things in the refrigerator, spot clean the floor, use the dust buster, hand wash some dishes etc. Then, we all go to the bedrooms and get dressed, make beds, tidy rooms then we all go to the bathroom and brush teeth and hair and clean up the bathroom, then we all go to my bedroom and make the bed, I finish tidying it up and getting myself ready etc.
For instance, this morning, after everyone got dressed and all that, I put Sarah in the highchair to eat breakfast, Alexa moved all of the videos to our shelves and arranged them by herself and Leiah stayed in the kitchen with me while I cleaned up breakfast. It worked very well- surprise! Then I vacuumed the living room quickly and got them busy with some coloring books while I made a menu and grocery list. Then things got hectic with a phone call, me trying to get a diaper changed and shoes on everyone and trying to get out the door. We went grocery shopping and that was not fun. These girls!!! They always act so terrible when I'm out- at least 80% of the time.
Things went downhill after that- Alexa and Sarah had an attitude, I was tired after all of that, the refrigerator is leaking etc. etc. Now everyone is down for naps, so hopefully we'll get refreshed and be nice again :)
While they are resting I need to finish some laundry, make some tea, make some bread and dessert and work on revamping my schedules. That way I'll be better able to guide them into what I'm doing without feeling behind and rushed. At least that's the plan. I'll do all of that after I rest a few minutes- hopefully I won't totally fall asleep :)
It's a bit harder to include them in everything, but it's getting easier. One day at a time :)