Today has been, challenging. I didn't sleep well because of a persistent tickly cough attacking me and it is SO hard to get myself going in the mornings. I may have to start taking vitamins at night and eating a snack before bed to get me going. I'm going to have to do something for next week when Leiah starts back to school.
I had a big list of things to do- mop, vacuum, laundry, cultures etc. So far I've mopped, washed a load of clothes, bathed the girls and cleaned up my room. We also had a picnic lunch outside since it's so warm and breezy and we all needed some sunshine and fresh air. I find myself getting more dissatisfied with the current house- it seems so small to me now. I can hardly wait for some more room to stretch out in. Maybe it's because we went from a North Pole look to a bare wall look. Everything seems quite ugly and plain to me now. Time to do some decorating I guess, at the other house.
Ok, about gifts of the Spirit. I don't have my Bible out right now, but I'll just expound on my knowledge and experience.
My whole entire life I have been going to 'full gospel' churches. Non-denominational, praise singing (as in no hymns) people dancing up front, people raising their hands to the Lord, shouting and being slain in the Spirit. Now, even as a child I was able to discern the spirits, and I could sense what was 'real' and what might be a little over the top. (I was saved at a very young age)
When I accepted Jesus as my Savior, the Holy Spirit made His abode in me. However, I think being filled or baptized in the Spirit is a bit different. By looking in Acts, you can see that the Apostles believed and were saved, but Jesus said to wait for the Comforter and I believe He also meant, wait for the power. Immediately when the Holy Spirit came as fire on them and they all began speaking in other tongues, Peter was able to preach a message to thousands. Before this, he always stuck his foot in his mouth. I have read a book about Smith Wigglesworth, an amazing British evangelist, that literally could not speak publicly. After he was filled with the Holy Spirit, he was able to speak to 20,000 people.
It's more of a matter of learning to yield to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to speak through you. Speaking in tongues is basically God praying through you- you are praying as the Spirit gives utterance, which is ultimately what God would pray, through you. A direct line of communication. Many times I just don't know how to pray in a particular situation, well, that's where speaking tongues comes in. He knows what to pray even if I don't, and can use my tongue to pray it, because the prayer of faith gets things done on the earth.
I have gotten Words from the Lord and even a prophesy once; but I've never really experienced the 'Holy Ghost Fire' of baptism with the evidence of speaking in tongues. Speaking in other tongues is the evidence to you and others that He really is in you. I just haven't fully yielded myself over- why? Because I don't want to be loud and get in front of people :) I love it when someone speaks out in tongues and another interprets it. It's just wonderful- because it is straight from the mouth of the Lord. I've seen the mellowest quietest people get up and run around the church and do a jig; I've seen old men jump and shout and laugh and laugh. It's simply the joy of the Lord. It's nothing to be afraid of, it's just the whole control thing.
I'm getting there though...I see the need and value for this to work in our lives. I am ready to move up to higher grounds so to speak. I hope that what I've said makes sense. If not, guess I'll need to do some studying on it.
I will mention this. I have been in some church services when it was VERY obvious it was not real. I got red flags all over my insides and felt very uneasy flight or fright feelings. He makes it very clear that you must leave now! You just know- He lets you know. And, it wasn't my church, just some I may have visited over the years.
7 comments:
Thanks for the congrats on our baby. And Congrats! on yours!!
On the holy ghost fire.. I've never felt that in a church setting. My salvation experiance was one of speaking in tongues though, in a bible study of small numbers and no one heard me but me. :) My husband had a similar experiance only in his own closet at home.
Hello there Jessica, I am so sorry that I have been away so long to visit you, I have just been so busy, but from reading your blog and catching up with you I see you have been busy too, Congrats on the news about the baby, I am praying that I will have some good news soon, hubby and I are trying to have another baby so we pray that God will answer our pray soon. Jessica you are such an inspiration to others, you have bad times and good times but you still continue to hold on to the faith that God will bring you through sweetheart I know it is hard but continue to be steadfast in the lord he hears you, and he will answer your prayers about been filled up with him so that you may too speak in tongues and be his chosen vessels you are a true soldier for God, hug the girls for me and stop by to see me, for the year of 2009 I will be focusing my blog on all things that will make God proud and I posted this morning about the goodness of God so please stop by soon to catch up, love you my dear sister in christ and keep your head up because Jesus never fails.
Hi,I was baptized in the name of Jesus 13 yrs.ago in a Pentecostal church, and I spoke in tongues yrs after, but I don't speak in tongues a lot, maybe because I need to be filled more,but I remember the very first time I spoke in tongues, I had been going to our women's prayer group for about a yr 3 x a week for 3 hours a day, and I had gotten used to praying for that long and I desired to be in prayer, & I remember being so in love with God and I was just praising telling HIM everything He meant to me,and after wards I spoke in tongues and several other times, I have a friend who only speaks in tongues when she is praying for someone's spiritual liberation, because she has that gift, I believe some people will speak it more than others because it is a gift, I focus more on asking God to fill me w'HIs love, also d/k the verse but when it says that they recieved the holy ghost, they were not asking Him for it , they began praising God by calling HIm SOvereign God, meaning I don't think it is something you have to beg God for ,just praise Him get into deep prayer...I do not know the key to recieveing it, because it is different w/everyone, there have been nonbelievers recieve it the 1st time at our church, some have recieved while sleeping & awoke speaking in tongues,I remember our pastor telling us of a brother who when he would speak in tongues , he would begin to praise GOD in perfect english & he didn't know any english, so I would say to focus in prayer & praise...don't get discouraged, it is a beautiful feeling, there is nothing and I mean nothing better than that feeling when God takes complete control of your whole being, it's like you enter into another dimention..God bless you and fulfill your desire to be full of HIS holy spirit!!!
First off I'm not trying to debate with you on this subject....I don't know enough to debate : ) .... however I would like to share my personal experience on the subject.
As a child...around 11 or 12 I attended a church that put alot of emphasis on being slain in the spirit, speaking in tongues, etc. There was always one woman in particular that would disrupt (that's how I saw it, as a child) the church service by speaking in tongues. Everything would get chaotic & loud, more than usual, because it was always chaotic with out of control "worship" music and voices shouting out at anytime they chose. I would just sit there baffled and confused. God is a God of order not confusion and chaos. I would think He would want our worship of Him to reflect that.
It always seemed church had to be some sort of emotional & spiritual high for these people. The simple act of faith in Jesus Christ, hearing the Word and reverrant worship wasn't enough for them.
Now I'm not saying speaking in tongues is not a spiritual gift or not used today.....I'm not certain that it is used today....I just don't know. I'm only speaking of the way I have seen it used, to me it did not seem like something that was of God.
So for years I doubted my salvation because I did not act or feel like these people...I didn't want to worship like them. I didn't speak in tongues, dance in the aisles and didn't want the pastor laying his hands on me and knocking me down to the ground.
Of course as a Christian you know that the Holy Spirit enters us at the time of conversion. Now being filled with the Spirit doesn't mean we "get more" of Him because we already have Him. It simply means to allow the Spirit to be in control by submitting our will to Him minute by minute.
We go to a similiar church. I too am very shy and have only spoken in tongues a couple of times in my own prayer time. I guess I am always scared of doing something wrong and offending God. I know it sounds wierd. I guess I am just a quiet person.
It will come!! :)
congrats on the new baby, that is very exciting. I want to encourage you to keep seeking the baptism of the Holy Spirit. I am a spirit filled christian mother and wife. I recieved my salvation, baptism in water and the baptism of the Holy Spirit three years ago, i often wonder how i made it all those years without Him. Now i have a way to pray for my family, myself, and others in a pure prayer language that is all about Him and the things He wants to pass and not my will. the Holy Spirit is a true comforter, teacher and friend, He is worth the wait. Hang in there, keep searching and just believe. the bible says not to fear just believe. i will keep you in my prayers.
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