May 9, 2009

Quick Post

Good day everyone. I woke up this morning to my husband and children bringing me flowers, cards and breakfast. Hubby sacrificed his sleep in day to bake me a cake too :) Hard to believe another year has gone by and now I'm 27. I know to a lot that is young, which I know, but that's three years away from 30, which used to seem so old to me!!!

I just wanted to clarify something, which I meant to do a few days ago and forgot. A lady named Sylvie left a comment kind of rebuking another person for their comment on my school choices. I guess it was implied that I would be offended. Well, I wasnt'. I completely understand that others would think, well, if that is going on that the public school than obviously get her out and homeschool her! I thought that to myself many times while sitting in those ridiculous meetings.

The fact is that deep down I do want to homeschool. It's just that with the present circumstances, it's not in the best interest of everyone. You gotta live in my shoes for a few days to get it. Here is the scenario:

My children are Leiah, age 6.5; Alexa age 5.5; Sarah is 3 and I'm 6 months pregnant with the 4th baby girl. I am due August 17th, which, would be very odd if she got here then since I've had c-sections. Likely it will be a week before that. My children are very, uh, spirited. They fight a lot and play rough like boys. They like to run and shout and tear stuff up and destroy, however, they are learning to calm down and help when it tell them too. Still, it's a daily battle :)

Ok, so, if I have a c-section there is a longer recovery time. I go home three days after surgery and am still on lots of pain pills/ gas meds etc. I will have my husband home that week. The next week, my mom may come over for a few days, but I still can't drive, vacuum, lift any of the other kids or something like a heavy laundry basket. I will have to take the baby to the pediatrician at some point so he can check her out. In the midst of all of this, I will be trying to learn how to breastfeed- it hasn't worked out the other three times.

So, traditionally school starts the last week of August here. I know that I wouldn't have to do it that way, and school would basically be the alphabet, learning to read, numbers, shapes etc. For Leiah that will mean extra practice on tracing and saying the letters, extra motor skill practice, toileting and getting dressed etc. Then I will also have to take her twice a week to the city for therapy- speech and physical and occupational, plus any new brain gym sessions we do. I have insurance and therapy was $45 per 15 minutes, it may be more now.

Not to mention, that I will have to wake up at night with baby, handle the laundry, house cleaning, shopping and cooking healthy meals, preparing/grading school work, make sure I get enough nutrients etc...

Second scenario: I have baby, I have helpers for two weeks, then the older two start public school. Either they will go by bus or daddy will take them and I will pick them up. I will then have a newborn and a three year old at home. I will be responsible for keeping up with the girls' schedules etc. making their lunches, keeping their stuff together, helping with any homework, but still, a lot different than before. When baby is sleeping I can rest, play with Sarah and do the work that needs doing. I would still have to get up early with the other girls, but more than likely I'll be up anyways for feeding. If I were having the baby now instead of then, it might be more feasible to homeschool, I don't know.

So, that's my decision. Add in that now we are moving to get to a better school district, and that throws another iron in the fire :) It may not always be this way, but, for now this is the best for the whole family. I know I would get stressed out, which would affect everyone- you know, 'If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy.'?

Alrighty, gotta go. Have a good weekend!!


His Tender Mercies said...

We all have to decide what works best for our own family; however, no offense to you, but many moms homeschool that have the same type of cirucumstances that you will have going on come this August.
It can be done. Your children are so young there are ways they can learn that doesn't take alot of time/energy. Your recovery time and adjustment period with the new baby is just a short period of time in their schooling years.
I worked on the basic with my kids when they were young... reading, writing and math. The rest can be done in a more relaxed way. The library has lots of books and educational videos. Family trips to the zoo or other educational/historical places near to you will really be more memorable to them. I really believe when they are that young every day living is a child's classroom....they can learn so much.
When my kids were younger I read a few of the Little House books to them and untilized a unit study called the Prairie Primer. We didn't do everything in it and even did some of our own things.
I can remember seeing the Lord's provision so much through it all. As an example: One of the activities to do with the unit study was to make corn husk dolls. I really didn't have time , money or energy to go to the craft store(30 minutes away) and buy all the things needed to make I skipped it. However we did plan on going to a fall festival that had many fun and educational things to see and do. Wouldn't you know there was a table set up showing the kids how to make their own FREE corn husk dolls. That's God and he is bigger and better then we could ever be!! We don't have to do it on our own : )

Anneatheart said...

Yes, I understand what you're saying, but there is a LARGE difference between you and me. I have a special needs child who happens to be my oldest. The only one that can really help is the second born and she's not the same as an adult since she's 5 years old.

There would be a lot of cost to me as well, with private therapy, gas money, babysitters if needed etc.

Mary said...

We all make our own decisions, our families are unique. For example. we have been homeschooling our now-13 year old daughter for 7 years, however we did not homeschool our now-22 year old son. My daughter has needs that could not be met in a government school setting. My son asked to be allowed to continue in public school.

So let's not say "I can't because..." Let's be honest, the Lord can do anything! If you wanted to give your children an education at home, you could. If there is one thing I know about you, it's that your faith is strong.

So in a way you are right. YOU cannot homeschool your girls. But you and The Lord together, well, anything is possible.

All of this to say, it is OK to say you do not want to homeschool. It's really OK! Especially on your own blog! LOL But don't say you CAN'T. The things you mentioned in your post, they can be overcome.

We all know lots of people who went through the public school system, myself included, and we turned out OK! So don't feel bad.

It's a tough decision, I know. I'll be praying for you and your husband.

Tereza said...

Jessica:) I keep loosing your blog and then finding it again:)
I public school in a good district. Yes...everyone school aged...6 of them...and guess what?!...they are all happy and well adjusted. School is not the devil and if you feel that for now this is what brings most peace to your family....then do it! you can always homeschool another year if you still want to....

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for pointing out what rearing a special needs child is like, plus the exhorbitant costs. This (being mom and dad to a special gift) cannot be empathized or sympathized with: it has to be LIVED to be understood. My child goes to a special school and I thank God every single day!! His healthcare costs are...up there. I think you are where God wants you to be in your parenting.

liz from new york said...

where i live, obviously homeschool is not the norm, so i cant claim knowing too much, however, as a mother of six, i can't imagine having a special needs child, at home, where we are honestly unprepared to give her every opportunity to thrive, we just dont have that knowledge. i have worked in that capacity, and have seen kids blossom in their programs,when they came in looking like all hope was lost. the interaction with other children, and qualified therapists is priceless God is moving your heart in the right direction, you feel a tremendous conviction, and your willing to make a move to get what you need, try not to worry, things go the way they are supposed to go..happy mothers day!

His Tender Mercies said...

No I don't have a special needs child but I do know those that do and still homeschool. They do utilize outside help (therapy,etc.) and homeschool in a way that works for them. My comment was just meant to encourage you since you said you would like to homeschool...not meant to compare my life (homeschooling) to yours. There have been times for me that it seemed impossible to homeschool do to lack of money, my health issues,time, etc., but the Lord has provided the way & the means.

Angela said...

As parents we all try to make the decisions that are important to our family. Others might not agree...that holds true if you homeschool or don't homeschool.

But isn't it great that we have these options available to us! Isn't great that we, as parents get to decide?

I love homeschooling and it has not always been easy....I've been doing it for 9 years and have homeschooled from kindergarten all the way thru 12th grade. It can be time consuming and frustrating, especially with little ones running about.

This past fall, I homeschooled my youngest son (9th grade), my 3 stepkids (4th, 5th, 8th). I also taught my nieces 3 afternoons a week biology and world history. All this while caring for a 3mth old, 2yr old and a 3 yrs old.

It was NOT easy and I ran out of steam very quickly.

Do what you and your husband feels is right for your family. If you want to homeschool and this is not the right be it. You can always homeschool at a later time when it is right for you.

Sorry, I didn't mean to write a book....

Again, congrats on the new member of your family. You are truly blessed!

4gr8kdz said...

This has been a wonderful support topic. I think everyone who has read this post or commented has taken something very beneficial from it. I think as moms and dads too we always feel guilt, are we doing enough, or did the decision another family make, was it better? I know I always worry, even though I know I have done my best. I mentioned previously I have two special needs children, and with my family dynamics public school is the best decision for us. For my husband and I, we don't want to homeschool. We enjoy accessing the professional services, need the support, and for us are not able to shoulder the astranomical cost of their needs. My younger child needs the respite during the day when they are at school.
I also know people who who have had children with unique needs who have been successful homeschooling. Again each family just has to decide what works for them and try not to feel too guilty. HEE HEE!
I hope you find peace in the decision you make, and do what will be best for you and your family. I hope you find a school district that will provide the services you need. Not all school districts and teachers are that of the district you described. It is possible to access public school services and have happy, well adjusted christian children. We are living it. Good luck!

vehementflame said...

thanks so much for posting that- that was real nice of you. I have been thiking about you and all the decisions and changes you have coming up...I can't imagine what lfe is like when you are caring for a special needs child- (and 3 others!)it must be very diffcult. I am glad you have strength and peace from God. I will continue to pray for you and your family.