May 27, 2009

Staying at Home

I don't normally watch reality shows or any weekly show (except LOST). I rarely sit and watch TV except sometimes at night. (DVR is great!) However, last Friday there was a 'Jon and Kate plus 8' marathon starting from the very first show. I remember watching that first show a few years back, when the sextuplets were 1.5 years old. For anyone not familiar with the family, they had a set of twins and then a few years later had a set of sextuplets.

Anyways, so I watched a few episodes and had noticed the tabloids about the alleged affair between the husband and a lady friend. After watching approximately 6 of the shows total, I honestly thought it was just a complete hoax and that all was well. They get frustrated yes, but it was obvious they were a team and did love each other.

I was very saddened to find out it was not. This couple is basically divorced, less than 1 year after they renewed their vows on TV and pledged they would be together forever. Wow it just makes me ill. Now, according to Kate, she just cannot figure out what is going on with Jon, who says he did not cheat but is obviously having a hard time with life in general. She is very angry and doesn't get what happened.

Well, let me tell ya, I figured it out. For one, it is very obvious that she is controlling by nature, a type A personality and go getter. Jon is easy going and laid back and not a leader type. They get stressed at each other, very understandably, since no one can really imagine what it must be like to take care of 8 kids that young. (who are 5 years old now) However, she is very harsh and critical with him lots of times in public, which is just DEVASTATING to a man. She claims she doesn't notice other people around etc. Whatever. I can hardly bear to watch it when she is so tactless and rude to her own husband.

Jon is sick of the show. He is tired of being in the public eye and having his photos taken and being tracked everywhere he goes. The man is DONE. Yet, for whatever reason, they keep going. Truthfully, I lost interest once the kids got past potty training- the baby stage was more entertaining to me.

Here's the other thing. Kate wrote a book. She is on a tour promoting this book for a good chunk of time and also has some speaking engagements to encourage moms. Her husband quit his job and stays home with the kids with help from a babysitter. Hmmm... something wrong with this picture. I think many of us understand the innate need in a man to provide for their families, to be respected, to be the leader even if they aren't naturally gifted at leading. Men were not designed to be mommies, and they will not function as well being a stay at home dad long term.

What happened to the lovey dovey couple pledging endless love to each other, who now won't even look at each other in the face?

I think I know. Kate bought the lie. She got sucked into the idea that she could have it all- family and career and successful marriage. It seems sort of obvious that nothing Jon does is good enough in her eyes as well. She probably got tired of the day in and day out of caring and cleaning and feeding and cooking etc. and when offered this 'job', she and Jon thought it would be a great opportunity for her to 'get out once in awhile'. But then, it took over their life. The show itself has run its course- children are 5, time to cut it loose. You can tell such a difference in her countenance and demeanor over the years, from the first show to the most current. She goes from a soft, motherly look and focused on the babies to very harsh, power driven, scary hair with a mission.

Poor things. I pray God brings someone to Kate to show her a true picture of God's design for marriage and family, before it's too late. I pray that they can forgive each other and have renewed love in their hearts for each other. It's obvious what needs to happen- Jon goes back to work, stop taping the show, stop the book tour, relearn how to see her husband and accept him as he is. Show compassion, gentleness and love. She can't do it by herself, which I think they are Christians, although I doubt the seriousness of their faith at this point. She has the power to change the situation and I believe that ultimately, the breakdown in their relationship is her fault. Of course I don't know them, but I know enough. I'm a meanie I know, but that's my objective opinion.

So all that to say, sometimes the deceiver tries to pull one on me too. He tries to make me think that the grass is greener on the other side; life would be better or easier if this or that; I'm not important or valuable or interesting; my brain isn't getting used, I'm not special, my husband wants someone else etc.

All lies, from the father of lies. When that stuff hits, I try to think back when generally all women stayed home. Could you say that they didn't have a purpose? That their lives weren't productive or useful? No way. How I wish I could have a group of those ladies over and just pick their brains for a day! I'm sure I'd hear some great stories.

Do you take joy in being a homemaker? Many times I don't. I get caught up in what I didn't get done or how quickly something I cleaned gets dirtied etc. I get tired of being inside of the same walls everyday with no other adults. But, the alternative is not appealing either. I am glad I have the choice to be at home. I just cannot imagine trying to get all my children out the door to daycare and go to work all day, then come home and do all the house duties, without being pregnant! How much more so when you are?? Kudos to those who must work.

I can honestly say that there is nothing I would rather 'be'. I have no desire to go back to college or have a career. I do take joy in many things that I do each day- I enjoy having a clean, orderly home, plenty of food and the knowledge that I am doing my best to care for our family. We aren't perfect, but I am happy with what I can accomplish at this point in my life.

Anyways, just curious, I am contemplating buying a memory stick for my camera so I can take longer videos. Would anyone be interested in watching a video of me doing something homemaker-y?? Suggestions? (cooking, home tour...) I've really enjoyed Candy's and DeNiece's videos- it really makes me feel like I'm right there. (of course I know Candy personally which makes a difference)


Saved Sinner said...

I like videos - they make people seem more real. I'm always suprised by people having American accents as when I read I always imagine everything in my own accent.

Mary said...

You hit the nail right on the head! I have felt bad for Joh since the beginning. I hope Kate gets a wake up call soon. Poor kids.

I too love videos! I like being able to hear the blogger's voice. FOr some reason it makes the person more "real".

Anonymous said...

I thought the same exact thing when watching that Jon & Kate +8. I felt so sorry for Jon many times in the slim few times I saw the show ~ repeatedly belittleing him. My husband and I looked at each other and said, "This won't last long" and this was before any of the problems were in the tabloids.
I used to watch Lost until they switched up the story line. Now I can't make heads nor tails of the story! I'm completely... for lack of a better word ... LOST when I watch it :o)
I've been enjoying Candy's videos, too. DeNeices' won't load for me for some reason. I enjoy seeing how other women run their households! I've learned so much through them all, so YES, I'd enjoy watching you do a household task you are really good at.

SaChay said...

I love their videos also!!! And I'd love to see one from you!

true blessings said...

yup ,yup, yup you're right about the jon & kate thing, she seems like a bully, she does not respect him at all, and I feel the same way about that haircut!!LOL And yes , it would be fun for you to add videos, always fun!

Anonymous said...

I pray they can save their marriage and work on it. You hti it right on the money. Itruly believe a marriage is worth more then a show and the things and oppurtunitites it can bring for their kids. Nothing, no money nothing and no life experience can compare to having a mom and dad together. After God our husband and wife come first not the kids. In this age where divorce is so prevelent the sanctity of marriage is being attacked. A father is so, so important in a home, he is the back bone, the leader, the one everyone looks too for example.

I will bring this family before God, God can intervene. Whats best for children isn't anything but a loving mom and dad and home. This world sadly measures success on things and achievement based on their own opinion on what it is which changes every decade but the word of our Lord enever changes and he defines life and all.

God bless and keep you and your preciouse little ones! =)

Shannon L. Fowler said...

Oh Wow!! I could have written what you said about Jon & Kate!! I said those very things to my husband the other day! I'm praying for their relationship to be restored!!!

Oh yes!!! Do some videos!! I LOVE watching homemakey videos!!! :D

Somehow I lost your blog, but found you again when you commented on DeNiece's blog!! Woot!!

vehementflame said...

Pst a video of you sewing or showing off one of those dresses! Or anything really:) You're right- it is a blessing to be a happy homemaker even when we "twist off!" I really liked this post- keep up with the good thoughts1 and thanks for the punkin cookie recipe:) have you ever had punkin ice cream? I wanna make some.

The Proverbs Wife said...

I posted my thoughts regarding the J&K+8 phenom here

I think they we totally see I2I on the role of husband and wife.

I hope things work out for them and I am so glad that I found your website.

I hope that you'll stop by and visit either of my (2) web pages.