Interesting title huh?
Today was what I call a 'Suzy Homemaker Day', as in, I got a lot of typical housewife things done with the right attitude. I did a little bit of everything- some laundry, some ironing, some cleaning, some decluttering/organizing, some baking and some sewing. I even swept the outside patio and allowed the girls some water slide time. This morning I got up early enough to bake the pre-soaked baked oatmeal in time for Leiah to eat it before school, major accomplishment.
I organized my sewing stuff.
I sorted out more toys and located baby stuff I had forgotten about.
I ironed fabric and cut out a dress.
I then sewed half the dress.
I baked some pumpkin cake/cookies and even made buttercream icing to top it.
I tidied up and did the dishes etc. I was feeling pretty good about myself.
Then, Suzy lost her patience. Children doing things that should make perfect sense to not do, houses that do not stay picked up, fighting children, she yells a little too much...then she wonders how much longer can she do this? I feel quite large right now- I'm trying to squeeze into a regular shirt right now because I can't seem to find any maternity t-shirts around here. My pubic bone hurts really bad and sometimes I can't walk too good. I'm just plain slow. My brain seems to have left the building or is shrouded in a fog. It's been over 6 months now of being pregnant and I'm kind of longing for my old self.
I have had the constant feeling of just 'hanging in space' somewhere because I know I'm moving. I've felt this way since we moved back to this house, simply because I knew it was just temporary. I have almost no pictures on the walls, no curtains in the living or bedroom, boxes of stuff stacked around and some bare rooms.
Everyday seems like such a battle. There are days that I wish so much my oldest was normal NOW! I know she is going to be, but I have to patiently stand on the Word of God, which can take time. Lately my middle daughter has really been pushing me with her attitudes and just doing things she's not supposed to. Then there's the whole school thing and needing to move fast and looking at houses and wondering what the bank will say etc...
My grandfather that I never knew used to say the phrase 'twist off' for losing it, or freaking out. So that's why I used it. Mom's patience is wearing t-h-i-n...I have a very low tolerance for lots of loud noises, not listening, not obeying, doing things very slowly...I am trying to not react before I lose my temper, but today has been difficult.
My poor husband has had a hard day as well and I'm sure will be worn out when he gets home too. So, I must vent here. But take heart, I know it's only a brief season. I'm almost out of the really hard 'in the trenches' stage, because some of my children are school aged, two are potty trained and can talk pretty well, they just get into it a lot. I break up a lot of fights during the day. They are usually about sharing.
Anyways, I'm just in a place of great pressure, and I know it won't be like this forever. As long as I stand strong in faith and persevere, God will come through and we will grow even stronger. Then we'll look back and see how He worked. Like stones of remembrance of God's power.
Well, time to feed the fam.