The past few weeks I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my brain. I just felt that something wasn't right, either in the way that I was thinking or in some things that I have read, but I couldn't really pin point what it was. I just read this article
Everything just fell into place. That's it! I guess as I've been wondering what to do regarding my oldest daughter's schooling, about my younger children's training, our diet, what we wear etc. etc. I've just had no peace. Only stress and worry and turmoil and always feeling like I am coming up short in some area of my life.
Just the other day I started thinking about how all these things are good- dressing modestly and femininely, homeschooling, training our children well in obedience, making our own food, living frugally etc.- but, sometimes we do make these things into idols. I know I did without even realizing what was going on.
Ultimately, all that matters is that we are raising our children to know God and make Him known. That's the crux of it, right? If we are doing that, then does it really, really matter if one mom works part- time, feeds her kids cheese wiz, sends them to public school, wears blue jeans?? Those issues are things that the Holy Spirit must lead and guide people into, when they are ready to receive. Of course we are to be in the world and not of the world, and don't want to look or act 'worldly'. But frankly, and I don't want this to sound bad at all, I am getting rather weary of hearing about how bad it is in the public schools and that women being at home is the only right path. Maybe that is the truth, but the reality is many women do work either because they have to, or have no understanding of the Biblical teaching about women being the keepers of the home.
So what is so important about the home? Aren't we supposed to go out and preach the Gospel? What about people who have home businesses, homeschool and home church? Their lives are centered around each other all the time, being at home all the time. To me that's not my ideal, but to others it may be what God is wanting them to do.
What I'm getting at, is that somewhere along the way I acquired a self righteous attitude, thinking that I was better or holier because I stayed at home, sewed our clothing, wore dresses, made all our food from scratch, had long hair etc. The worst part is I didn't even realize that I was getting to that point. I was judging other women, even those closest to me, based on those 'requirements'. How dumb is that? It's like I was trying to fit in to a club or something.
Before anyone is extremely disappointed and upset with me, let me clarify. I have been in an area of spiritual pride. I fully support women being at home, homeschooling, celebrating feminine and modest dress and good home cooking. These are practically lost in the world today and I am so thankful that I get to be a part of it. I just had a revelation and am loving the freedom it has brought to my heart. I can still be a loving submissive wife though I wear blue jeans, a t-shirt and serve frozen pizza. It's the heart that matters most.