November 9, 2007


The past few weeks I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my brain. I just felt that something wasn't right, either in the way that I was thinking or in some things that I have read, but I couldn't really pin point what it was. I just read this article

Everything just fell into place. That's it! I guess as I've been wondering what to do regarding my oldest daughter's schooling, about my younger children's training, our diet, what we wear etc. etc. I've just had no peace. Only stress and worry and turmoil and always feeling like I am coming up short in some area of my life.

Just the other day I started thinking about how all these things are good- dressing modestly and femininely, homeschooling, training our children well in obedience, making our own food, living frugally etc.- but, sometimes we do make these things into idols. I know I did without even realizing what was going on.

Ultimately, all that matters is that we are raising our children to know God and make Him known. That's the crux of it, right? If we are doing that, then does it really, really matter if one mom works part- time, feeds her kids cheese wiz, sends them to public school, wears blue jeans?? Those issues are things that the Holy Spirit must lead and guide people into, when they are ready to receive. Of course we are to be in the world and not of the world, and don't want to look or act 'worldly'. But frankly, and I don't want this to sound bad at all, I am getting rather weary of hearing about how bad it is in the public schools and that women being at home is the only right path. Maybe that is the truth, but the reality is many women do work either because they have to, or have no understanding of the Biblical teaching about women being the keepers of the home.

So what is so important about the home? Aren't we supposed to go out and preach the Gospel? What about people who have home businesses, homeschool and home church? Their lives are centered around each other all the time, being at home all the time. To me that's not my ideal, but to others it may be what God is wanting them to do.

What I'm getting at, is that somewhere along the way I acquired a self righteous attitude, thinking that I was better or holier because I stayed at home, sewed our clothing, wore dresses, made all our food from scratch, had long hair etc. The worst part is I didn't even realize that I was getting to that point. I was judging other women, even those closest to me, based on those 'requirements'. How dumb is that? It's like I was trying to fit in to a club or something.

Before anyone is extremely disappointed and upset with me, let me clarify. I have been in an area of spiritual pride. I fully support women being at home, homeschooling, celebrating feminine and modest dress and good home cooking. These are practically lost in the world today and I am so thankful that I get to be a part of it. I just had a revelation and am loving the freedom it has brought to my heart. I can still be a loving submissive wife though I wear blue jeans, a t-shirt and serve frozen pizza. It's the heart that matters most.


I Ate The Sandbox said...

Hi there. I love your post! I kept saying "yes!" as I was reading.We are covered by His grace and love, and we're called to extend that same grace to others as well as to ourselves. Thanks for this post!


Rachel said...

Glad to hear you are at peace now :) I went through this too. ANd, came to the same conclusion as you. If I wore strictly dressed it would be to impress others.. not what God wants. He'd rather see me in jean doing HIS work than a dress to be in a "select group". :)

Val said...

Thank you so much for this post! Sometimes I feel so guilty for working and not staying home full-time with my kids, but right now I have to work :( And don't even get me started on the jeans thing LOL Thank you for putting these issues into a little more perspective for me :) Have a great weekend!!

Anneatheart said...

Good- I'm glad I didn't come across as offensive.

Vicki said...

Oh Mama! Live Lively, LOVE lavishly, laugh Loudly!!!!!!! So many Mama's preach a gospel that says its about heart change but I tell you, I've yet to meet one with a real heart change. They become so bogged down and overwhelmed with the "ideals" they've truly created for themselves. Jesus said, "Its not the outside of the cup that needs to be cleaned but the inside of the cup" Tell me if it mattered so much what we wore then why does John the Baptiser where camel skin? Why did Ezekial cook his food over dung? If we (as women) are to stay home and homeschool our chidren why does the Proverbs 31 sell her wares in the market place and it never says she teaches her children at home?

Im just saying... That just because some feel convicted one way doesnt mean we all have the same path. Again, you are amazing for giving women the freedom to be women! Im not giving up my blue jeans anytime soon!

(Hey, how did you get that scobi!)

His Tender Mercies said...

I've been where you are at and have come to the same revelation. I use to get caught up in the thinking that because I did all those things ( wore dresses only for a time, homeschool, try to eat a healthy diet, homebirth etc.)this somehow made me more of a Christian. I'm not saying that these things are bad, they are not. They have been truly good in my life.

I think what we need to do is examine the motives behind what we do. Our we dressing to please others, ourselves or God. Are we trying to eat/cook a certain way because that is what a good little Christian housewife does or because that's the way so and so eats but then overlooking our husbands preferences? Are we trying to choose a healthy lifestyle to have the energy and wellness to minister to the people the Lord has put into our lives? I know I could go on and on, but I won't. Just wanted to say well written!

Atomic Momma said...

Amen Sister! What a great post! I am with you 100% on this one. I have spent the last few years struggling about the same issues both you and the article suggest.

The answer came to me one day when I was doing a bunch of spiritual readings by several different writers and I was agonizing about how many people needed to read these writings, how many spiritual books I gave to family and friends that went unread and how could I convince people to take the time to read this stuff. hit me. The best I could do is LIVE the knowledge I was getting in my own spiritual readings and journey. Be the light to people that I was learning in my own spiritual journey. Buy a book and tell someone to read it is one thing - live it by example is infinitely more powerful than any words I could force a person to read.

Mary said...

THANK YOU for this post! I just surfed onto your blog, and it was just what I needed to see. I have been feeling so very guilty, because I started a part time job, and have been using the dishwasher instead of washing dishes by hand, AND I bought sandwich rolls instead of making them myself. How vain is that? But honestly the guilt was terrible. I needed to hear that I am still a good Godly wife and mother even though I "made" my family eat store bought rolls. LOL Sounds silly now, but it sure was not laughable yesterday! Thank you for the spirit-lift!

Teri in CO said...

As you and I can see, what you posted about resonates with probably many women. I wrote about this same revelation on an old blog and as I read yours it brought it all back to me! It is an awesome revelation! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Teri in CO

Laura said...

Wonderful post! I just read an article with a similar concept in "The Old Schoolhouse" magazine, and it really lifted a weight off my shoulders. Now that I came here and read your words, it is as if God is reinforcing the message. Thank you so much...

Many blessings!