January 23, 2008

Heart change, MOPS, routine...

Yesterday was a busy day as well. The morning didn't go well at all. Everyone, including me, was grumpy. I do really try to not let my emotions rule me, but when no one cooperates and there's just a general fussiness, it's hard to remain upbeat.

Which brings me to a question. How do I keep a right heart towards my children? I'll read some inspiring things, feel convicted and do good for awhile, then we'll have an off day, and I feel like a drill sergeant- yelling, with no love, and a sort of hardness in my heart. Why am I so bad at training my children?? This is the dilemma- I read everything about how to correct and train, but what do you do when they kids declare mutiny?! How do I train them all at the same time without getting out of control? And does 'regular' child training work with special children too?

I have been praying a lot and asking for wisdom, but I feel stuck and stumped sometimes. Does anyone else's children just look for things to tear up or get into? When they have two rooms of toys (not full of toys, but different kinds) a kitchen cupboard of toys, a playpen of toys and many books? I let them play at the sink some, help me with cooking and cleaning and they have responsibilities, but it doesn't seem to be enough.

I know they won't be perfect at all, but I get so tired of it!! I have a vision of what I want our days and life to be like and we are far from it. Wait, I just figured out the major problem- Alexa wants to be the boss-of everyone! She is strong willed, but she's not the classic strong willed child, she does yield at times. But, she has this desire for power and control, she wants to run the show.

Now, how do you change that besides a miracle?


Anyways, today I went to MOPS, and for those who may not know MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers. I went religiously when Leiah and Alexa were babies, then after we moved I didn't attend as much. I wasn't sure about going this year, and I didn't go but a few times. I prayed about it, and felt led to go today. The girls did very well and had lots of fun and do actually have Bible lessons. I am going to pray about possibly being on the leadership team for next year- I have been going for almost 5 years now and been on the 'receiving end' for a long time.

The downfall is that my middle child always acts terribly when we get done with MOPS- either from being tired or from picking up bad habits from the other children. They are all laying down for naps right now.

I did finally get some sewing done and most of Leiah's dress is done-just need to hem and add trim/buttons.

What else, well I've figured out that the best routine for me is no routine. Sounds strange, but making a to do list works better than anything else. In our household, things rarely go like they're 'supposed' to, so I end up moving things around a lot. The only thing I do routinely is grocery shopping on Tuesday night. I am about to start taking Leiah to speech again, so life will change a lot more, and I will most likely HAVE to make a routine to stick to.

7 comments:

Thirdtimemomma said...

For me, in dealing with the children, I had to learn to let go. Yep, maybe some Mama's will think Im bad, but I let go of my standards. I thought that the house had to be perfect, meals always homemade, ect ect ect. Well, that just isnt possible. Most importantly through the initial training process. These first few years are tough on us Mama's. We have to lower our standards and simplify. Remember there will be seasons for everything. Right now your season is child training. :) Hugs...

Letting go is hard. Almost as hard as letting go of the sin in our lives. It took daily prayer and petition right? Remember? Rome wasnt built in a day.

MAMA said...

some days are just like that!! Chin up tomorrow will most likely be better:)

jesnicole said...

DON'T KNOW IF IT HELPS AT ALL, BUT I'M THE SAME WAY ABOUT ROUTINES. I MAKE THEM, AND I ALWAYS WILL. BUT I OFTEN DON'T STICK TO THEM EXACTLY.
IT IS VERY APPARENT THAT YOU LOVE YOUR BABIES, AND THAT YOU WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR THEM. MAYBE YOU DON'T NEED ANY ADVICE, BECAUSE YOUR HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE!!

Anonymous said...

I can so relate. My kids seem to always take advantage of a bad situation. I have plans and ideas of what our home should be like. Kind of like Little House on the Praire, but it never comes close. I guess because this is reality and not a book or tv show. We tend to judge ourselves against other peoples ideas of how our homes should be. But, we should remember that we probably only see other people on their good days. Everyone has bad days where the kids are acting up and the house is a wreck. Just remember that if our heart is right, God will take care of the rest.

Sarah said...

Ugh...I so hear you! Sometimes I feel I could run out my house pulling my hair and SCREAMING! I too feel like the most horrible mother sometimes. I too yell and let my emotions get the best of me and then I beat myself up about being grumpy and it just seems to make me even grumpier. My boys are constantly in to stuff! I feel like they are so destructive and it really gets to me! They have just recently broken a leg to my coffee table and torn the arm of our sofa- that was in near perfect condition when we bought it a year and a half ago. I thought it was just a 'boy' thing but obviously not. I guess it's just a 'kid' thing. I also get frustrated because I'll try and 'organize' things but my youngest insists on getting into everything and 'disorganizing' it. So I give up and don't even try. I tend to be a 'perfectionist' and I think that's why it bothers me so bad when my kids destroy or mess things up. Anyway, all I have to say to encourage you is this- you 'are' doing a good job! We all have our bad days- even if some women act as if they never do...I usually have good 'weeks' and bad 'weeks'. I don't know why it happens that way but it just does. Well I hope you have a wonderful day today and if it means anything to you- I feel you put me to shame! You seem to get so much more accomplished in your days then I ever do!

Sarah said...

I left you comment- did you get it? Hmmm...interesting...

*MichiganMomma* said...

I think some of it is just the ages - they are all so young and not very much help yet. With special needs, maybe you will have to revise "when" they will be able to help and how much. I've not had that situation.

I lose it too. I think we all do. The thing is, I'm getting much better at recognizing it - earlier and earlier. I realize that I have limits. I can't do it all. Yup, the standards have had to come down a bit - at least for now.

So I just get up each day and keep at it. I keep praying. I keep training my children, even if it seems as though they just aren't getting it - trust me, they are!!

Here's something I do: I set the boys up with a movie (or game or whatever) while I work with the girls (laundry, sweeping, organizing toys, whatever). After a set amount of time (or when they lose interest), we switch. Then I show Isaac (not really Eli, he's not quite 1) how to wipe down the table, or swish the toilet, or put the lid back on the trash bin outside - whatever. I have to split it up - it's really hard to train them all at the same time. Some would argue against the movies/games thing, but it works for us.

You're a great mom - keep it up girl!!
~Lori