Since I opened up the topic of fertility I thought I would make another post regarding everyone's views on the subject.
I had never before heard of letting God plan your family until after my second daughter was born. When I was engaged, it was just understood that you go to the OB/GYN for your exam and come out with the script for birth control pills. I was on those about 9 months and then we decided to start trying for a baby. She took 3-4 months. Well, since it took a bit to have her, we figured we 'had some time' before we had to get serious about birth control again.
Nope. When she was three months old we conceived our second child. Now, this is actually a good scenario since they were both girls and I already had everything etc. But, in our special case, I had a c-section with Leiah, never labored, and she had problems. Well, my doctor scared me into another repeat c-section with the second one. So now I was stuck- no doctor would ever let me birth naturally.
When Alexa was about 10 months old I saw she was getting older and my baby wouldn't be around any more. I wanted to get pregnant again and my husband was soooooo against it. I found out about being 'quiverfull' and jumped on that. He did not and we disagreed, me thinking I was more spiritual because I trusted the Lord. Dh didn't know what to think/do so he followed me grudgingly. I got pregnant like that day! He was unhappy and I was very unhealthy. (second baby wasn't a year old yet) We lost that baby- what a blow.
Slowly I started to realize the error of my ways in trying to be the leader in the home and was still on the fence about birth control. About 6-7 months later, even though we were preventing pregnancy, I conceived Sarah. I did better in that pregnancy because I had learned a lot about health and nutrition. Yea. By the time she was born I wanted birth control badly. Life was so hard. Leiah was needing more and more medical care and attention than I could give, Alexa was 2 and a terror and I had a newborn. I wanted to get sterilized then!
But now, I've grown up a lot, and learned how to work really hard and gotten my health back. My girls are older and a bit more of a help to me. We have a plan for Leiah and things are working better in that area. But, there's the big thing here. I've had three c-sections and a surgical procedure with the miscarriage. Never been in labor-ever. I also have O negative blood and have to get special shots during the pregnancy and after birth. I am already overweight and have lots of medical debt.
My options are: keep going to the OB and have c-sections and rack up more debt
Search high and low for an adventurous midwife who will take me on (didn't work the last two times I was pregnant)
Do it myself
Also, my parents are a GREAT help to me- so so so much, I am so thankful. But they see it as irresponsible to keep having babies in our situation. They know how frustrated and stressed we get; how stressful Matt's job is, our special daughter, my health, lack of money etc. etc.
So, there it is. I would LOVE to leave it in His hands. Honestly. It would make everything a lot easier. Nowhere in the Bible does it literally say 'God won't give you more than you can handle.' I HATE this saying. So many people have said that to me and it just ticked me off. They haven't walked in my shoes. My husband and I are healthy and blessed to be able to conceive easily. That truly is a blessing and I'm thankful. I like to be pregnant, after the morning sickness stage. I love feeling the baby kick and move and watch my belly grow and eat lots of milk and eggs :)
We just need to seek the Lord on this and I can't go against my husband. He is so not sold on leaving it up to the Lord, LOL. So, if anyone wants to comment, go for it. The subject is open.