July 1, 2008

A Female Post,plus other stuff

Well, it's nearing that time of the month again.

Thankfully, I guess because of how I am eating, I hardly have any PMS anymore. I don't get cramps or headaches or bloating and the period only lasts 3-4 days instead of 7! This is great.

However, I get really tired. The last couple of days I've not been able to get myself awake hardly. I also get rather, testy. For no reason at all I seem to get angry or stressed or depressed. I know I know, hormones.

Still, I would like to avoid this altogether. One thing I haven't done in awhile, which does help, is drink red raspberry leaf tea just before and during the period. I keep forgetting. I'm sure if I would add some more herbs like red clover or nettle that would help me not be so tired. Anyways, how do you all deal with the unusual crankiness? Especially towards children/spouses.

Also, I am trying to figure something out. How does a parent help a child to be thankful and content? My youngest daughters aren't doing well with that. Today instead of speech in another town (we moved it to tomorrow) I took them to the library, the park and then the store to get some items and let them pick out their lunch. (fish sticks and french fries) The younger two were so demanding and ungrateful; whining and crying because I wouldn't let them do everything they wanted etc. I am trying to show a good attitude in the home, but they seem to have this idea that they deserve these nice things or that I owe it to them. Maybe that's not an accurate description but it's be best I could come up with.

How does one teach a thankful heart? I am thankful, but somehow it's not getting across. Is it a maturity thing? Every morning they are so irritating (amongst themselves) and bicker and do not get along!! How do I teach them to get along?! How do I teach them to enjoy each other?

13 comments:

Amanda said...

Now first, I better offer a disclaimer: My kids are 17 mo and 4 mo, so I may not know what I'm talking about :)

That said, I think that gratitude is a maturity thing. Certainly, we can teach please and thank you, but I think it's something they don't understand until much later. I remember my DH complaining b/c his 15 year old brother didn't appreciate all that his parents gave him. I had to ask, "Just how grateful were YOU when you were 15?"

Shannon said...

Hi, I just found your blog recently! GREAT blog!!

Here is a site that is full of information on training our children. The owner of the site is a good online friend I've had for several years now.
http://www.cannedyministries.org/articles.php

Hope that helps!!!

Ohiomom9977 said...

I have a 5 yr old daughter and we are dealing with the same issue with thankfulness. It just seems like she takes it all for granted and nothing is ever quite good enough. I'm anxious to see if anyone has good advice for you on this one, as I could use it too!

Rachel said...

Ah, parenting! Before you beat yourself up, please understand that they are children. Children are selfish. Plain and simple. They CANNOT help it. Teaching them otherwise, or trying to teach them, will only happen when they reach a certain maturity. During that process, you ARE to still teach. One day it just clicks and they will be able to reason better.

Kinda like when kids say MINE! and grab toys. They do NOT understand share.. to that the guest is only gonna play with it while he is here.. he's NOT taking it home with him.. etc. Spanking a child for only being able to comprehend so much is wrong, in my opinion. Kinda like when a child crys when you leave the room. They do not understand you are just around the corner and coming right back. They get all excited when you return. It's MAGIC! They just do not comprehend it. But, again, it's our job still have patience until this golden age of understanding starts to come through.

Some things you already know: Go when kids are not cranky, tired, hungry. In parking lot reinforce what you expect of them in the store. Be prepared to leave if they act up.

And my personal fav... give them choices! If one starts throwing a tizzy cause they want Z.. you have the choice to say.. "you can pick from X or Y. Which one do you pick?" They will forget all about Z and be so worried about X or Y... LOL

And letting them help. My 13-year-old loves to come to the store with me. She is in charge of picking the produce! It's HER call. She feels oh so important and she's learning in the process. She's learning about what makes it a good sale, coupons, meal planning, etc. She seems to enjoy it.

If the kids start arguing over WHO is gonna pick this item.. you say R will pick this one and YOU will pick the cookies or the veggie or whatever is next... kids just want some control. Even if they really don't realize they don't have the full control LOL

I cannot stress enough.. these practices must also be done in the home. If you do it at home often enough they will know what to expect when you say these things. They will know you are true to your word whether you are in the store or in the home or at a friends. It cuts down on a LOT of tears and frustration. My kids LOVED picking.

And most of all.. do not take it personally when the kids melt down. This was the hardest for me. I felt like my kids were doing it on purpose to get their way! I soon realized they were their own person and sometimes.. well.. it's too overwhelming for them and they melt. So keep the options to A or B and move on quickly :)

Monthlys.. oh yes drink the raspberry tea!! Also.. have you had your iron checked? Heavy periods? I suffer from iron-deficiency anemia and have to take 2 iron pills a day. I noticed a dramatic change in my mood when my iron level started rising. OHoo,, I was a bear to be around. During those times.. I also make quick meals and we spend a lot of floor time or lounging time reading and watching tv or playing games or beauty shop! The less moving the better for me. Do you use cloth pads? I have heard using those will also cut down on your days. I'm willing to try!

Hope this has helped. I know it seems frustrating... but it will past all too fast. Any way you can go shopping after hubby is home with the kids? Taking one with you for a special mommy time? I did that too. No matter how good your kids are.. sometimes its just easier and faster with fewer!

Anonymous said...

Hi,

We also struggle with this and some days they are sweet as pie other days not so with ungratefulness. I think perhaps seeing there attitude that day or morning even. see how they have responded to chores done, being kind to the other, sharing and point it out. then the next day see how they are doing and perhaps reward them and say because you were so kind, loving to your sister/brother im going to take you all to do etc....

Perhps just making more of a point to express that to them with that special gift once in awhile. otherwise lots of praisses at home and encouragements even in the smallest of kindnesses.

It's tough and we are dealing with little sinners so we have to constantly remind ourselves of this. Also it won't happen over night- and they'll be set backs. Im saved and I have my days now imagine little ones still needing to be changed of heart. As God deals with me and us so patiently and lovingly and even giving to us when we don't deserve (Showing mercy and love not only law) that just melts our hearts and gradually will melt theres we all pray.

A pastor once said that if something isn't a battle of the wills type issue that the parents clearly needs to break that will and win that battle but that child disobeyed in something and clearly expects a spanking but we show mercy we are teaching them though they deserve the spanking we will in mercy and love as God deals with us so often not punish. We explain as god is merciful so we will be to them. this again isn't to be done regularly but on occasion it teaches them that though yet we were left to our sins yet christ died for us and though we deserve hell and worse yet he gave his son.

Well I thought id share that with you as that is what hubby and i once in awhile will do. But of course you need to follow what your hubby says on that and everything else i've written most of all. Im a mom of 4 blessings but go through and struggle with many things that you do as I think all moms to especially dealing with there kids and disciplin/instruction. It's up and down but be so encouraged to know you aren't the only one and that your kids aren't the obnly ones with days like you mentioned. those days are sad- we have had many like those I think they test us as aprents and make us more aware most of all that those areas need to be worked on but mostly we need to pray for our kids that god would save them early. I need to be more faithful in praying to that end.

Thanks for listening and being real! =)

Anonymous said...

I wanted to leave a link you and your husband can listen to about some great preachings on parenting and instruction. here's the link- they have been so so helpful to my husband and I,often have to go back and listen. This is from a faithful church of christ and faithful pastor who loves god.

http://www.trinitymontville.org/SermonMedia/Category.aspx?ID=62

Paste the link to your search, don't google it probably won't work. It will lead you to a list of topics in training children.

Knowing that it was available for anyone to listen and not pass that on would not be kind. This pastor hits right at the core of training and some many situations that we face in this age and how to biblically from the bible deal with those issues of sin in us as parents and in our kids as we seek to raise them for His glory in this sinful world.

I hope it helps.

God bless you and your beutiful family- I so appreciate your humbleness and willingness as a christian mom to want to do whats right and want to deal with these issues biblically. Amen sister- you, God will and is blessing you and he will answer you and be your help!!!

Sonja A. said...

Hello Jessica! :) I'm sorry about the monthly thing. I never knew about drinking red raspberry leaf tea! I will have to try that. I don't know what to do about the being tired thing...as I have the same issue! And I'm not too grumpy, but I just have serious cramping and horrible back pain. It's rough...

Our kids have been doing some similar things like that too. Just today we went shopping, and I got a new purse and our daughter cried because "she never gets anything" as she said. (Just the other day, she and her brother got clothes...and we had just bought her a new doll earlier today.) She wanted a new purse and I told her that we were here for me today and not for her. She didn't say much more. And when they get really whiny about wanting things, we remind them that there are other children in the world that don't have anything...so we need to be thankful for everything.

We have had to do this about food too...as they are soo picky about some things. I reminded them that some kids in Africa don't even have money for food, so they make 'dirt cookies'..dirt and water. :'( They remember that and are doing better...but I think that's probably something every parent deals with.

Good luck! And have a great day! :)

Cajunchic said...

We dealt with the gratitude thing recently. We had our son take five toys out of his toy box that he really liked. The others were put in the attic. When he had proven that he was grateful for his toys and possessions then he was allowed to take some more toys until he had most of them back. since we did this we have not had much of a problem at all.

Now the fighting thing.... if you figure it out let me know.

latoniar29690 said...

I am an avid reader of Candy's blog, and found you through one of your comments about the Holy Ghost. I too was brought up the way your were. I went to a Church of God of Prophecy until I married. My husband is baptist and does not understand the gift of speaking in tongues. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have PMDD ..a severe form of PMS and refuse to do anit depressants just for that. I get VERY moody and emotional about ten days before my time of the month and can't seem to control it. I am struggling with it right now and it was nice to know that I am not the only one. I will say a prayer for you and please do the same for me. Thanks...after all, we are sisters in Christ.:-) Have a great day.

Anonymous said...

I think the best way to teach them to be greatful, is to be without for a while. I have four. 20, 23, 23, 26. When they would get too bratty or ungreatful, I would take away what they had. That taught them to be greatful for the things they did have.

Anneatheart said...

Thanks for all the helpful suggestions everyone. We've tried the 'some kids don't have any food or toys etc.' I guess they are a bit young yet to understand. I might box up most of their toys and see if that helps.

Latoniar- you should try drinking the raspberry leaf tea and also take St. John's wort capsules. You can get it at Walmart and it helps me a ton- it's like a natural antidepressant and I take it when I'm feeling more stressed than usual. It really does help.

Amanda said...

Regarding the "some kids don't have any toys", I'm reminded of a story my mom told me.

When she was kid, they were always urged to clean their plates, her parents saying, "Think of the starving children in China!" Her doctor told her, "Whether you clean your plate or not, isn't going to affect the starving kids anywhere."

I know it's not the same, but honestly, when someone tells me, "Think of how little ____________ has," I always think of that doctor. I guess my point is that, at 24 I have a hard time seeing the relevance of what someone else does or does not have in relation to me, so I can understand how it wouldn't have much effect on a kid.

Buildeth Her House said...

I wouldn't say my children are perfect in the area of being content/grateful, but they do fairly well. My 7 yr old has a tendency to lean toward being ungrateful. Always wanting more.......having
to be entertained alot. I just talk to him about that kind of attitude and he's getting better.

What about teaching them Philippians 4:11 "not that I speak in respect of want for I have learned in whatsoever state Iam to be therewith content" & Timothy 6:8 "and having food and rainment let us be therewith content."