February 25, 2009

Thoughts on birth

Oops, as I was approving comments I got a mean one and went to delete it and accidentally deleted them all. Sorry.

The 'mean' comment was about the dress patterns I posted- they said I was drawn to them because I have no taste. Like I care.

Last night there was show on Discovery Health about Freebirthing- unassisted birth. I had also ready umpteen vbac stories yesterday, not to mention all the births I've seen online. Guess what? The whole natural birth thing is looking very unattractive to me now. I just really don't know if I can do it or if I can, if my husband could handle the intensity of it all. What husband wants to see their wife in pain?

My ideal scenario: go into labor at home, stay there until I'm certain I'm getting further along, go to hospital, find out I'm 6-7 centimeters, get the epidural, have the baby in a few pushes :) This happened to my sister twice- well, she just rested until she was fully dialated because she had the pain meds, then pushed the babies out in like 3-4 pushes. And one was over 9lbs!

However, after my husband watched that show, he is very apprehensive about natural birth. As a consequence, fear has been trying to get hold on me. In fact this morning I was fighting off a panic attack. So, I'm done with all of that. No more reading/watching. It's certainly not helping me out.

For anyone who has not had a c-section, you may not understand as much why I hate it. I was planning to write it out step by step, but I better not since I already had some anxiety issues this morning. Maybe another time. The first one was easier in that I didn't really know what to expect and it happened fast, but it was my most painful and hardest recovery. The other ones were more nerve wracking because I knew what to expect, but the recoveries were better.

Gotta go...maybe I can embellish later.

4 comments:

Dora said...

Jessica, my prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you as you weigh your birthing options. That can be so hard but having faith in God and trusting Him to lead is the best thing to rely on. Could you please say something about Candy's departure? I loved what Ace at joyandgrace.blogspot.com and whollybygrace had to say. It was nice. I have read your blog for a while and know that you knew her. It would be great to hear some voices who knew her to say something in blessing of her departure.
God bless!

Saved Sinner said...

I haven't had a CS but I can understand you wanting to avoid one. I will keep your pregnancy and birth in my prayers.

Jessica said...

Jessica,
I understand your apprehension. I had an emergency c-section with my first and the recovery time was terrible. I didn't realize how MUCH better a natural delivery could be until I had my second child by VBAC. In my opinion, it was so much easier. I've had four VBAC hospital births, and for me, it was the best option. Of course labor is painful, but I figure I'd rather go through the pain BEFORE the baby is born than after! I'll admit, giving birth IS a messy, painful business, but it is also a great experience for you and your husband to share.
I hope this doesn't come off as suggesting what you should do; obviously medical decisions are a very personal choice, especially when such a precious little life is involved! I just wanted to offer a positive VBAC experience.
God bless,
Jessica