This next part is really what set me free. Satan had held me in fear for over a year, probably close to two years, about us getting sick. Not some terrible terminal illness, but mostly fear of the stomach virus. Such bondage- I would even get panic attacks about it if one of the girls woke up crying, afraid they were sick. Or even if my own stomach felt a bit queasy, I would get all worried I had picked up a virus and would be very sick. So, here we go.
"You will not be afraid of the pestilence that stalks in darkness." Psalm 91:6a
The third category of evil that God names is pestilence. This the only evil He names twice! And since God doesn't waste words, He must have a specific reason why this promise is repeated. God knew the pestilence and the fear that would be running rampant in these end days. The world is teeming with fatal epidemics that are hitting people by the thousands. So, He gets our attention by repeating this promise.
It's as though, just to be sure that we heard Him, He repeats again- you do not have to be afraid of the deadly pestilence!"
This is so contrary to the world that we have to renew our thinking before we understand the fact that we do not have to be afraid of the sicknesses and diseases that are epidemic in the world today.
The author says, "When I first started studying this psalm, I remember thinking, ' I don't know whether I have the faith to believe these promises!' It stretched my faith until I thought it would snap like a rubber band that was being pulled too tightly. But God reminded me that faith is not a feeling. Faith is simply choosing to believe what He says in His Word. The more I chose to believe God's Word, the more I had a knowing that I could trust and rely on it completely.
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My Words will not pass away." Mark 13:31
In the Bible days when they mentioned pestilence, they were thinking of diseases like leprosy. Today we have AIDS, cancer, heart disease...but no matter what pestilence we might be facing, his promise is still true. The enemy may try to cause sudden surprises to catch us unaware and knock us down, but God is faithful.
The author then tells a story of how her husband decided to change health insurance and both she and her husband were required to have physicals done. Weeks went by before they ever heard anything about the results. Several months later they received a letter that said the insurance could not cover her because she failed her physical.
She says, " For the next few minutes, panic tried to overtake me. Every fearful thought imaginable was flooding my mind. It was then that I had to be honest with myself. I realized that for weeks I had been pushing back and ignoring a subtle anxiety that had kept the door open to an uneasiness in my emotions. Fear can be such a subtle enemy. "
Her daughter reminded her, "When you are walking with God and trusting in His Word, then to entertain reasoning and fear is sin-so stop it. Don't go there. " She decided to ' not go there' in her mind- by refusing to even consider some of the negative possibilities concerning her- finally put those fears to flight. Whenever a negative thought tried to come, she would say " A thousand may fall at my side and ten thousand at my right hand, but God's Word says that it will not approach me for any purpose- so I refuse to go there in my thinking."
Come to find out, there was an abnormality in her EKG, and when she went to be re-tested, it turned out to be something so minor that she need not come back for checkups or use any medication.
What we allow our minds to dwell on is our choice. Therefore if we desire to operate in this protection covenant, taking authority over negative thoughts and emotions is the key. Just saying to yourself "I refuse to go there in my mind." brings about such peace.
I will relate a personal testimony. When I was pregnant with my first child, I had to have a follow up sonogram because the one done at 22 weeks said she was measuring much smaller than she should be. Somehow, the next day, I just knew something wasn't right. I was called by the actual doctor to come in right away. As she explained to me what was going on, the horror of what might happen to my child began to creep in. My baby was only measuring 2lbs at 30 weeks, if she doesn't grow they will have to take her out, I had to be on bedrest, come in for non-stress tests and ultrasounds twice a week, and do kick counts everyday. I would have to go to Dallas for a more in depth ultrasound too. But, I refused to go there in my mind. I knew that I had been praying for her health throughout the entire pregnancy and I was confident that I could trust God's Word. My husband and my church stood behind me. From then on I never feared that we would have problems. Everyday, I thanked Him for helping her grow and develop as she should, and confessed Psalm 91 over her. Everything went as it should- she was growing, she was doing everything that a baby should at her stage, she was very active in the womb, andher heart rate was normal- this went on for 6 weeks. Our doctor had explained that our goal was to make it to 37 weeks, since that was considered full term.
Friday, January 3, 2003, I went for a regular ultrasound and non-stress test. She was estimated to be 4lbs 7oz, a good growth jump from before. As I was laying on the table with the monitor strapped to me, the nurse came in and that moment her heart rate went from 135 down to 80. She ran out and got the doctor and the doctor said, 'Looks like we're having a baby today." She checked to see if I was dilated at all, then I went to the hospital. About an hour later, I was laying on the operating table as they pulled baby Leiah out. She was crying! She was 4lbs 1oz and it was 37 weeks to the day.
Now, of course it would have been awesome to go into labor normally and deliver a healthy baby. But, this is how it happened, and it was much better than to have been in a NICU in Dallas for two months. She was perfectly healthy. She did have a heart murmur and difficulty eating and breathing at the same time, but within 10 days she was eating and gaining weight and doing great. By 4 months of age, according to our prayers, the heart murmur closed up. She was never sick her first year, and has been the healthiest of all my kids. Now that I know she has Trisomy 9, it's even more of a miracle that she's here. Most babies die in utero, or shortly after birth. And the ones that do survive, have a low quality of life.
A miracle. I am so thankful that I knew what I knew about God's Word and the authority He gave to us. The enemy tried to sneak in and steal my daughter's life, but because we had faith in God's Word, He turned it out for good. Thank you, thank you Lord!